Steleotyping Those Stlange Asians

                                   

Click the image to view the rest of the comic. Then read the rest of my post. (Please don’t run away after reading the comic! Nooooooo!)

Racial stereotypes are alive and well! Or should I say, “Arive and werr?”

People of East Asian descent are often made fun of in irreverent comedies by exaggerating their inability to pronounce ‘R’ sounds. They are instead portrayed as producing an ‘L’ sound everytime the letter ‘R’ appears. Such as:

“Lound and lound the lugged locks the lagged lascal lan.”

The South Park creators take it a step further, by making Asians unable to properly prononce ‘L’ sounds either!

“Rook at the rovery rittre ramb rying by the rake.”

All around the entertainment industry and the Net, we’re made roaring fun of… Our culture, our weird eating habits, our stereotypical knowledge of deadly kung-fu and propensity for spouting Confucian quotes of wisdom for any given circumstance.

Am I offended? Am I outraged? Well if I were, I wouldn’t be posting such a humorous article now, would I?

Disrespect in the right amounts is fun! I mean, 95% of the jokes in the world would be nullified if racism, sexism, and all other -isms were removed.

Still…

“Me velly solly if you offended by my post. Lacism is leally bad. Banana rike me should’n make fun of the gleat Chinese curture.”

And for the record… I can’t really pronounce the ‘R’ sound either. My tongue just won’t roll!

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Shitty Wok

I was introduced to Tuong Lu Kim by the South park episode ‘Child Abduction Is Not Funny’. The entire town’s parents get paranoid that strangers will abduct their children, and decide to build a huge wall around the whole of South Park to keep out strangers.

But who to build such a massive, long wall? Why, someone Chinese of course.

Mr. Kim: Herro, wercome to Shitty Wok, take-a order pree!

When said Chinaman, who runs a restaurant business, learns that the townsfolk want him to build a ‘great wall’ around South Park:

Mr. Kim: Oh, I get it. Just because I Chinese, you think I build wall. That i’ bullshit! I’m not stereotype, okay?! Just because I’m Chinese doesn’t mean I go around building wall! I’m just a normal person like all o’you! I eat ahrice and drive ahreally slow, just like the rest o’you! I’m not stereotype!

Mr. Kim finally agrees, but even as he’s finishing the wall, who would appear to destroy the wall but… Mongolians! Riding horses and wielding swords that they use to break down the wall! All the way over in modern-day USA no less, doh!

Mr. Kim: God-damnit, how come every time us Chinese put up a wall, stupid Mongorians have to come and knock it down?

Script of the whole episode here:  http://www.twiztv.com/scripts/southpark/season6/southpark-611.htm

Mr. Kim: Goddamn Mongorians! Tear down my shitty wall!

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Ronery

Watch and listen as none other than Kim Jong-Il sing his touching song of roneriness in Team America: World Police. 2 minutes long, a quick download. (And he has the same voice as Mr. Kim)

Link:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wO28NQc9tW4

Lyrics:

Ronery (by Trey Parker as Kim Jong-Il)

I’m so ronery
I’m so ronery
So ronery
So ronery and sadry arone

There no one
Just me onry
Sitting on my rittle throne
I work vewwy hard and make up great prans
But nobody ristens, no one understands
Seems that no one takes me serirousryyyyyy…

And so, I’m ronery
A rittle ronery
Poor rittle me

There’s nobody
I can rerate to
Feer rike a bird in a cage
It’s kinda sihry
But not rearry
Because it’s fihring my body with rage

I’m the smartest most crever most physicry fit
But nobody else seems to rearize it
When I change the world maybe they’ll notice meeeeee…
But until then I’ll just be ronery
Rittle ronery, poor rittle me

I’m so ronery

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Chinese Dietary Anti-Animism

And finally, I’ll leave you with a story I personally heard related by a visiting African pastor:

“Where I come from, people practise animism. We worship everything in nature… The rocks, the trees, the animals.”

“So imagine my shock when I first came to Asia. Everything my people worshipped, the Chinese ate!”