“So the other day I was attending a funeral for this fallen corpse-man, a Mr. OAR-ee-on – one of the unbroken line of fallen heroes – and I see many of them in the audience here today.”
“Although they cling do to guns and religion – this funeral is chock full of that! – it’s just because they’re bitter over the price of arugula… Uh, hold on, uh, uh, I can’t hear myself think here.”
“Uh, carrying on… I was upset as he was an Arabic speaker and we need every one we can get for Afghanistan. But not as upset as that time when 10,000 people died from those Kabul tornados!”
“But back to the funeral… To those conspiracy theorists out there, I’m certain my attendance at this ceremony full of religion proves to them my Muslim faith. I mean, Christian faith.”
“So anyway, in order to make up for this loss, I’ve been looking into bringing in greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to the Marine Corpse. They will be as problem-free as the post office. Let me be absolutely clear, the Marines are a great friend to the Marines.”
“It was a tight schedule by the way, you ever tried visiting all 57 states? So now that we’re done, can I just eat my waffle? Islam invented waffles, you know.”
(By the way aren’t you glad we dodged that IDIOT Palin back in ’08?)
How many did you catch without checking the linky references?
Guide sources: here, here, here and here.
Teleprompter fun right here.
UPDATE: Palin herself uses the same tactic!
See also Every Obama Speech in One Paragraph via AoSHQ.