The Most Embarassing Ways to Die in Alien Swarm


Alien Swarm is a free co-operative shooter on Steam.

YES, 100% FREE, GET IT HERE NOW!

So… How about some tips for the game?

Here’s a tip: Try to avoid the facepalm-inducing deaths described below. In no particular order until the end:

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1) Having the door fall on you from aliens pounding the other side, while moving to knock the door down onto them.

2) Having the door fall and instantly smash your Sentry Gun to pieces, followed by an alien beatdown.

3) Running into an insta-kill environmental hazard, e.g. the gas filled pit in Cargo Elevator. Bonus points if you roll-dodged into it. Special mention if you somehow managed to miss the Bloodhound in Deima Surface Bridge and fall to your moron’s doom.

4) Happily hacking away as a Tech when you suddenly die, because you neglected to set up a Sentry Gun and instead counted on your oh so reliable teammates to watch your back.

5) Burning to death because you caught fire and don’t have a Flamer to extinguish yourself with. Bonus points if it was from a teammate’s Flamer and nobody cares that you’re sizzling and screaming. Double up points if you DO have a Flamer but for some reason (e.g. being a moron) didn’t extinguish yourself.

6) Going all RAMBO SPEED RUN LEEEEEEROY JEEEEEENKINS and dying from insta-pwn alien gangbangness.

7) Dying from insta-pwn alien gangbangness when everyone else goes all RAMBO SPEED RUN LEEEEEEROY JEEEEEENKINS, leaving you all by your noob self. (Much more common than the previous reason.)

8.) Dying along with everyone else within 10 seconds of the first alien encounter because everyone went RAMBO SPEED RUN LEEEEEEROY JEEEEEENKINS without noticing that the map was set to Hard or Insane, not Normal. Special props if you were the map leader/creator.

9) Dying for the umpteenth time in a row because you insist on going RAMBO SPEED RUN LEEEEEEROY JEEEEEENKINS on Hard or Insane, because ‘the aliens keep spawning if you stay’ – which is correct, but fails to account for the fact that no one else can keep up with you. Serve you right if everyone else proceeds to complete the stage without you. Dammit you magnificent b*stard if you actually survive and make it to the end of the stage while your slow teammates die!

10) Getting lost on Timor Station after activating the nuke countdown because your teammates charged ahead without you. Bonus points you’re the Tech and they had all started running back to the Bloodhound way beforehand while you were too busy hacking to notice.

11) Having your teammates kill you on purpose to restart the stage because you’re the only tech but have no clue how to play the hacking minigames. Especially on Timor Station’s nuke activation which is aaaaall the way at the end of the map. Stoopid noob!

12) Dying from a Parasite because you didn’t bother running to the Medic after getting infested. Bonus points if the Medic ran all the way to you, only to have you explode on him in a shower of more Parasites just as he arrives.

13) Dying from your teammates after getting infested, because they oh-so-helpfully try and ‘cure’ you with bullets and fire. “Hold still it works, I’ve seen it!” (Tip: It doesn’t, only healing or using your own Electric Charged Armor will stop a Parasite killing you. Tesla Cannon is said to slow infestation to half speed.) (Tip 2: Nothing exists that will stop your genius teammates from killing you.)

14) Dying from the Parasites that pop out of your infested teammate because you were standing around ‘curing’ him with bullets. Next time, ‘cure’ him with fire.

15) Dying in any way whatsoever while packing items like: two Sentry Guns with no standard weapon; two Healing items; or in general the Nightvision Goggles or Flashlight attachment. In these cases, you pretty much deserve what you had coming. Bonus points if you had already clicked ‘Ready’ and then started mucking around with your loadout and the map started while you were halfway through.

16) Showing off your black belt mad kungfu skills with the Chainsaw or Power Fists, which ends up with you being showed by the fifth-dan black belt kungfu aliens.

17) Getting quickly pounded into mush by an angry horde of aliens because your teammate sealed the door with a Welder before you got through. Bonus points if you were the one who accidentally sealed the door yourself while on the wrong side. Our condolences if your teammates intentionally sealed you behind and laughed at your dying antics before proceeding.

18,) Activating Adrenaline, then immediately dying – leaving your teammates with a slow-moed slow-mo zoom-in of your noobtastic death. Hurry up and die your stupid death already!!!

19) Dying from friendly fire – not because they accidentally shot you while aiming at aliens, that is SO run of the mill it doesn’t even deserve a mention here. No, this is when you die because a teammate thought you were an alien and let loose on you with the Minigun for five seconds straight. Who asked you not to be the white-suited Medic? It’s your own fault. In fact, it’s your own fault for playing Alien Swarm with these guys. Oh, and bonus points if a real alien then jumps him while you’re in your death throes. Serves him right!

And the #1 most embarassing lol wtf noob death is…

0) Pwning yourself with a grenade lobbed point blank into an alien. Bonus points if it was with the Grenade Launcher on the first alien to come along; blasting yourself from full health to zero in one shot; and/or managing to take out a teammate with you. Win the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor (on the aliens’ side) if you mistook a teammate for an alien and lobbed a point-blank grenade at him in your panic.

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Better tips at Gamefaqs guide here. Cheat here.

Helpful and informative Alien Swarm wikia here.

Other game tips here: Gratuitous Space Battles, Plants vs Zombies.


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13 Responses to “The Most Embarassing Ways to Die in Alien Swarm”

  1. Zack T Says:

    With absolute zero idea what this game is…
    reading through your post…

    I’m guessing its gameplay is similar to Left 4 Dead? From A to B, do something, get on an escape vehicle?

  2. Scott Thong Says:

    Close… Except it’s isometric view, shooting aliens.

  3. olionda Says:

    cannot be more embarassing than to be fatally knocked down by a garbage truck

  4. rotflmao Says:

    “..knocked down by a garbage truck”

    Oh the ignominy of being “harvested”

  5. dasweats Says:

    A 60-mile traffic jam near the Chinese capital could last until mid-September, officials say.

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704125604575449173989748704.html?mod=WSJ_hpp_MIDDLETopStories

  6. baraka Says:

    Pre-Crime Technology To Be Used In Washington D.C.
    Computers predict what crime will be committed where, by who and when

    http://www.prisonplanet.com/pre-crime-technology-to-be-used-in-washington-d-c.html

  7. slips Says:

    Interests: hockey, music, acting and killing Infidels — Canadian Idol contestant arrested for jihad plot

    “Have you ever thought of being a comedian?” asks one of the judges of the 26-year-old.

    Another remarks: “The dance moves were good, the singing, bad.”

    http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/article/852264–third-terror-suspect-was-canadian-idol-contestant?bn=1

  8. slips Says:

    Alien Times:

  9. demjoke Says:

    Democratic Rep. Bobby Bright (Ala.) on Wednesday ducked a question on whether or not he would vote for Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) by joking that she “might even get sick and die.”

    http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/115941-dem-congressman-says-that-pelosi-could-get-sick-and-die

  10. deals-on-wheels Says:

    An Alien Nation looking to embarassing deaths….

    Britain faces a new wave of home grown terrorists as 800 radicalised Islamist prisoners are released from jail, a leading security expert warns.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/terrorism-in-the-uk/7967037/Britain-faces-new-terror-wave.html

  11. farmble Says:

    Dying falling angel

  12. harry Says:

    hihihi…hahahaha !

  13. mouldy Says:

    agree. very funny ..hehehe

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