Archive for March, 2012

Various Dungeons & Dragons Alignment Grids

March 29, 12

I do so love my D&D alignments. The classic 3×3 chart:

Especially when fans of other works apply the 3×3 grid to various characters. There are countless ones out there and you often have to know the characters to get it, but here’s a bunch that I get and find amusing:

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic D&D Alignment

Mass Effect

Mass Effect D&D Alignment

FPS Gamers

My Little Pony Friendship is Magic D&D Alignment

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Dungeons & Dragons related posts as follow:

RPG Motivational Posters

What is the Source of Magic in the Real World?

Ethical Alignments of Chaotic Liberals and Lawful Conservatives

SARAH PALIN Caused the Zimmerman and Toulouse Shootings

March 27, 12

AoSHQ has this title, Media Pretty Sure of George “White Hispanic” Zimmerman’s Racist Motive, But Not Quite Sure What Might Have Motivated Mohammad Merah.

Pull quotes:

Ooh, look! George Zimmerman! His motives we know! … The media is very inconsistent about when it “knows” things and when the picture is just too darned fuzzy to say anything.

And pull quotes from the article he read:

The killing of Trayvon Martin was almost universally understood as racism. So, why is the Toulouse murderer just an “overgrown adolescent”?

Ace and Tablet Mag there are contrasting it with what he’s noticed about the Zimmerman/Martin case:

I appreciate the media dubbing Zimmerman “a white Hispanic.” Like the Israelis, he’s now an honorary member of the Oppressive White Majority.

And this via AosHQ:

But what I felt was, this is a stunning coincidence, an example of mind-numbing intentional-myopia vs preternatural prescience, eeriely similar to another paired contrast of violent happenings.

Behold a whiles back, the Fort Hood vs Tucson shootings:

…until investigations are complete, no one can begin to imagine what could possibly have motivated this latest appalling rampage. – Fort Hood shooting, where Nidal Malik Hasan (who browsed jihadist sites) shouted “Allahu akhbar!” as he shot people whom he had previously treated as disdainful infidels

vs

[I]t is legitimate to hold Republicans and particularly their most virulent supporters in the media responsible for the gale of anger that has produced the vast majority of these threats, setting the nation on edge. – Tucson shooting, immediately after the event when nobody had any information whatsoever yet

Actually, no, it’s not even surprising anymore – the postmodernist liberal media does this on an all too regular basis.

So I thought, what the heck, might as well go ahead and say It’s Sarah Palin’s fault for creating the climate of HATE that directly inspired and unavoidably, inevitably, incontrovertibly led to the Zimmerman and Merah shootings!!!

Hence, my post title.

Civilization 5 Best Stories

March 27, 12

A record of my fave alternate-pseudohistory experiences in Civilization 5.

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Playing Egypt with a focus on getting every useful wonder in my capital. The Great People, happiness and Culture frequently kept me in Golden Ages and well on the way to Cultural victory.

Meanwhile, Alexander of Greece was busy conquering all his neighbors and so has the most land area. He’s first to get nukes and has been using them on France to my south at least.

Worried he might beat me to victory (maybe via Spaceship), I line my borders with subs (insurance against an offshore sub+nuke reaching me) and send a decapitation strike force to the waters off his capital Athens.

Turns out I don’t need to be the aggressor, one turn before I intend to make my move he declares war on me!

Interlude: While Alexander was busy fighting long wars, I had found a far off continent with 2 City States that was untouched by the rival civs. I quickly settled it and shortly conquered both City States for their Aluminium and Wine. This Alumnimum allowed me to build Modern Armor that was part of the strike force.

Anyways, Alexander’s puny one or two units are smashed at the gates of my heavily fortified frontline city. He has America, Spain and very especially France to thank for that – their semi-regular wars on me meant I had Artillery, defenders, a Great General and a Citadel as a greeting.

When it was my turn, a Nuclear Missile onto Athens covered most of the landscape with Fallout. My Modern Armor and Mechanized Infantry landed and in the next turns, proceeded to fail to take Athens (which was on a hill surrounded by hills, mountains and a one-tile lake making it slow and hard to surround). However I pillaged his Uranium to cut off my main concern (getting nuked).

Soon I decided to withdraw except for 2 units sent to suicide pillage his other Uranium deep in enemy territory. But due to America paying him an unfriendly visit just then, Alexander sued for peace offering me plenty of goodies (including 1 Uranium supply).

Anyway, I coasted to an easy Utopia Project soon after.

Now I’m doing Alexander myself, going for a build-up then make Allies of all City States route, but in this game or other maybe I’ll target to get all the uranium and nuke every opposing city to cover their landscape with -3 to all tile yields fallout. Play Russia for double Uranium supply mayhaps?

—————————–

Playing as the Maya, scouting revealed that I was on a continent with only… Attila the Hun! So I decided to take out them out early to have the continent to myself. Also, they’re the Huns… Psychos would be harassing me with protracted wars every few decades.

I massed Atlatists while researching to reveal Iron. My army headed over to the Hun capital, which turned out to be their only city. Along the way, they passed Hun units including several Battering Rams on their way down to my territory!

The Huns declared war a turn or two after my Iron was linked up, allowing me to upgrade my Warrior to a Swordsman and begin training another Swordsman. The Swordsman easily outclassed anything Attila had, but the insane 300% bonus against cities conquered my only other city in one go if it reached close enough to attack! I reloaded several times to avoid that happening – not like I wouldn’t take the city back easily, but ANNOYING.

Meanwhile, my gang of Atlatists whittled down the Hun capital enough that in 2 turns, my Scout (!) could conquer the city. I had to deal with a large chunk of unhappiness until a Courthouse could be built, but from there I could spam cities at will. Together with Messenger of the Gods pantheon and Pyramids spamming another +2 science per extra city, I charged ahead in research while the other civs were bogged down warring on the other continent. (Settling a new city on that continent invited also immediate war, so I opted out and instead stayed at peace till an uncontested Space victory.)

—————————–

Playing as Rome, my builder plans were diverted to a defensive war by Carthage’s annoying my very northern-located capital from the northeast. She didn’t really get anywhere as long as I kept my troops properly positioned, but then America on the southwest declared war which stretched my forces thin.

Strangely, after just a short while into war, America asked for peace – and tossed me a city for the trouble! I didn’t think I was much of a threat to him, let alone about to steamroll his borders. But gift horse, so…

Carthage remained a thorn as I wasn’t that far ahead technologically, and the hilly terrain around her nearest city (and as I found out later, almost completely surrounding her capital) made invasion difficult, especially by forcing my siege to be right next to her city to be able to hit in range.

With constant tech leaps to the next military level (e.g. gunpowder and later riflemen), eventually I took over Carthage’s near city, and later got her to sue for peace at the doorsteps of her capital.

Wary of America, I turned my armies to his borders and kicked him out of that corner of the continent entirely. And with tech to tanks, I finished off Carthage. Forgiveness not an entry in this Civilopedia.

—————————–

See also other game related posts:

Share Your Skyrim Best Moments

Funny, Cool and Other Left 4 Dead 2 Stories

Plants vs Zombies Survival: Endless – Scott’s Setup

The Most Embarassing Ways to Die in Alien Swarm

Gratuitous Space Battles Quick Tips

Cartoon: Where Obama Won’t Drill For Oil

March 22, 12

Very telling summary in one cartoon, by Michael Ramirez:

References here and here.

No wonder among all these 40+ charts detailing his economic achievements, a bunch show gas prices spiking upwards!

And some graphics on what is mentioned above…

Via The Gateway Pundit:

Via Death By 1000 Papercuts, Red Planet Cartoons on the ANWR:

And from The Gateway Pundit on offshore drilling:

And get this via AoSHQ: RECOVERABLE OIL IN COLORADO, UTAH, WYOMING “ABOUT EQUAL TO ENTIRE WORLD’S PROVEN OIL RESERVES” COMBINED

See also related:

Satirical Interview with Saiful Bukhari

March 22, 12

Old but still amusing, and very telling. Tipped by hutchrun.

Excerpts of article by Dreamweaver;

XYZ: You mean you could just drop in to see the Deputy PM at his house to ask for a scholarship and get career guidance advice? How many people can do that?

Saiful: Anybody. Pak Najib is a very nice man. He is always ready to help. Anybody can knock on his door. Just try it if you don’t believe me.

XYZ: In fact we’ve been trying to get an interview with Datuk Seri Najib for the past 6 months.

XYZ: It was also reported that you met a senior police officer, Senior Assistant Commissioner Rodwan at room 619 of the Concorde Hotel Shah Alam before you made a report. … To be precise, you met SAC Rodwan on 25th June, a day before the alleged sodomy which was on the 26th June.

Saiful: So what? I know I was going to be sodomized again. I was just getting ready.

XYZ: So why didn’t you set a trap for Anwar with video recording and police bursting into the room to catch him red handed? I’m surprised a police officer didn’t advice you to set a trap.

XYZ: OK, let’s talk about the day you made the police report on the 28th of June. Why did it take you 2 days after the alleged act to make a report? Haven’t you already decided to report Anwar after meeting SAC Rodwan?

Saiful: Well, I was embarrassed and humiliated about going public. I was also traumatized by it so I thought it over for a couple of days.

XYZ: But you were smiling and waving to the press after your police report.

Saiful: That was just for the TV cameras. I wanted to look handsome.

XYZ: You also went to work the next day and attended a PKR function at Anwar’s house in the evening where Anwar was also present.

Like I said, this is an old topic, so my previous posts on this matter may be dated.

Global March to Jerusalem Aims to Reverse 3000 Years of History

March 20, 12

That’s a lotta work.

Tipped by hutchrun, Fact Sheet: Global March to Jerusalem (GMJ), March 30, 2012 reveals that the GMJ’s aim is to highlight the so-called ‘Judaization of Jerusalem’.

Riiiiight…

The ‘Judaization of Jerusalem’ which began roughly since King David went and conquered it and made it capital of the Jewish kingdom, circa 1000 B.C.

The ‘Judaization of Jerusalem’, a city specifically mentioned 655 times in the Old Testament, 146 times in the New Testament, and 0 times in the Quran.

The ‘Judaization of Jerusalem’, the city which is No. 1 Most Holy Place in Judaism and only No. 3 Most Holy Place in Islam… And this is not counting the fact that – as mentioned above – it is never once mentioned by name in the Quran, and only assumed to be ‘the Remote House of Worship’ that their prophet visited. (Really, check out that link, they have to add it in in parentheses as a commentator’s note.)

The ‘Judaization of Jerusalem’, a city which has countless features, locations and nearby landmarks described in the Bible which either still exist today or have been uncovered by archaeological digs. Examples: water systems, defensive walls, city walls.

And if the Temple Mount area is really soooooooo sacred to Muslims – and not, say, just pushed as such in order to be used as a propaganda tool against the Jews – then why was it so poorly upkeeped and overgrown with weeds before the modern state of Israel encompassed Jerusalem?

Above tipped by hutchrun.

Combined 816 mentions by name and synonym Zion. And zero times by name in the Quran.

As usual and as expected, our own local leading Juice-fearer, Dr M is on board as an Advisory Board member (as in Obama’s spiritual mentor, Jeremiah ‘God D*mn America!’ Wright).

By the way, it was Jordan illegally occupying Jerusalem up until 1967.

From Melanie Phillips:

The San Remo Treaty of 1920, in which the victors of the First World War parcelled out the remnants of the defeated Ottoman Empire, created a geographical area called Palestine along both sides of the Jordan River.

Article 6 of the Palestine Mandate signed by the League of Nations in 1922 stipulated ‘close Jewish settlement’ on the land west of the Jordan River. The river served as the boundary because that year the UK created a new Arab country, today known as Jordan, by unilaterally bestowing the land east of the river onto the Hashemite dynasty and thus giving some three quarters of Palestine away.

That Mandate treaty obligation to settle the Jews in Palestine from the river to the sea has never been abrogated and endures today. The 1945 UN Charter, Chapter XII, Article 80 explicitly says than nothing within it shall ‘alter in any manner the rights whatsoever of any states or any peoples or the terms of existing international instruments to which Members of the United Nations may respectively be parties’.

Furthermore, Israel’s ‘occupation’ of these areas is legal twice over – since it merely gained them in a war of self-defence in 1967, and is thus legally entitled to hold onto them until the belligerents stop waging war upon it. Which they still have not.

On a tip from hutchrun, as always an often, archaeology proves the Jewish claim to Jerusalem:

Underneath the four-story modern house, 18 years of digging revealed what Siebenberg calls “the perfect continuation of Jewish history in one place.” The base layer has emptied burial caves from the era of King David and King Solomon some 3,000 years ago.

Above that are the remains of a Hasmonean mansion inhabited by children of the Maccabees – the heroes of Hanukkah fame — who ruled Judea from 142-63 BCE after liberating it from the Syrian-Greeks.

For more posts on this specific matter of laying claim to Jerusalem, see the following:

4000 Years in 4 minutes – Israel Animated HistoryMany videos on the ancient and modern history of Israel

Jordan is Palestine – Anyone familiar with the history knows it is correct. Immediately after World War One, Palestine consisted of what is now Jordan, Israel, the West Bank and Gaza. … Jordanians, for decades, were avid proponents of the ‘Jordan is Palestine’ position. They used that position as justification for the annexation of the West Bank, arguing that Palestine was one single, indivisible unit, and that Jordan was the legitimate governing body of Palestine…

What to Do to Get Israel to Do This and That – You say: Israel should give back the land to the Palestinians and retreat to the 1967/1948 borders! Israel says: If the surrounding Arab nations will never ever attempt to attack, invade and conquer Israel again – which, if you’ll remember, is what led to Israel defeating them and capturing the land in war in the first place – then sure!

Is Israel Carrying Out a ‘Holocaust’ on Gaza Palestinians? – When Israel entered Gaza in a war of self-defense in 1967, the population was 360,000. After Israel withdrew totally from Gaza in 2005, it was estimated at 1.4 million. … When Israel entered Gaza in 1967, life expectancy for women was 46. When it left Gaza, it was 73.

Hamas TV: The Jews Carried Out the Holocaust on Themselves -

See also amazing archaeological finds confirming the Bible’s historical claims at this site.

This Neocon Zionist Supports The Right of Return to Palestine/Israel – As long as the Jewish right of return is also recognized.

Pakistan-Israel Hypocritical Double Standards – …why it is that the world thinks that Pakistan is a legitimate and bona fide country created when a religious minority demanded independence, but not Israel?

Don’t Fark With the Jews! – A Brief History of How Israel Kicks Butt – In 1948, the U.N. agrees to give Israel and Palestine their own states. Seven Arab nations and a specially-formed anti-Israel force responded by immediately declaring war on and attacking Israel. … Israel’s 29,677 non-professional soldiers completely kicked the butts of 54,000 well-equipped enemy troops, armour and planes. The result was a doubling of Israel’s territory under the rules of ‘whoever wins the war gets the land’. The aftermath that lasts till today is the Arabs whining about Israel’s ‘aggression’ and ‘occupation’ of those lands.

The Cyrus Cylinder – Not Isolated and Not Vague Verification of the Bible’s Historical Accou – Anyone of his people among you – may his God be with him, and let him go up to Jerusalem in Judah and build the temple of the LORD, the God of Israel, the God who is in Jerusalem.

Liberal Women Encouraged to Withold Sex for 1 Week – Snarky Comments Ensue

March 19, 12

Via Melissa Clouthier who is spot on when she says that the comments at this report about ‘Don’t give men sex for 1 week’ are great stuff.

Excerpts of best comments follow:

their method of striking the method we’ve been suggesting to prevent pregnancy

Real women don’t use sex as a weapon, or their bodies as bartering tools. There’s a word for that.

When I was in college the Feminists I was around were very gay, so how does this hurt men again?

Could they move the date forward to coincide with the NCAA tournament?

Do they really think one week of po*n denial is enough to break the will of man and change the world? That must be some good, good stuff.

So is this strike only fortifying the views as ‘Women are only seen as sex objects?” If so great job feminists you really have progressed women with this.

If you believe sex is that important to men that they would give up or change their morals, then what is to stop men from giving up their morals to stay faithful and just sleep with women who disagree or unaware of this strike?

At first I thought this was some sort of sick joke. Then i saw it was a feminist protest…so i wasn’t too far off.

Sex strike will do nothing nowadays only because hands, porn, and lies.

So let me get this right. To get the people who arent on your side, on your side. Your going deprive the people who are presumably on your side (husbands and boyfriends) by not having sex? where does this make sense? “So this lady I dont know or care about isnt having sex with this guy i dont know or care about… better sign this bill.” This cant be true im being trolled

Best AoSHQ Liveblog Reviewer Remarks for Space Traders (The Weird Racist Film by Critical Race Theory Professor Derrick Bell, Idol to Obama)

March 16, 12

Excerpted from AoSHQ. Funniest in bold, language warning throughout:

ace:
okay right here, these credits exist to tell white people to stop watching.

FilmLadd:
Note that this film was made before Anakin Skywalker became Dick Cheney, otherwise they would have used his image instead of Reagan’s. [Scott: Reference at Dick Cheney Facts.]

JWF:
Obama probably loaded this on the Queen’s iPod

ace:
If I were making a movie to parody this movie, this is the movie I would make.

DrewM.:
If aliens wanted black people, wouldn’t they like go to Africa or something first?

FilmLadd:
It should be noted again that this was directed by the highly oppressed Reginald Hudlin, who can’t get any work in Hollywood except for BET, Modern Family, Outsourced, Psych, and a couple of feature films and stuff. It’s so tough being hated by God’s chosen people.

DrewM.:
Wait, they can’t be Republicans…we’d never let chicks in the War Room

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
Critical race theory (CRT) is an academic discipline focused upon the application of critical theory, a neo-Marxist examination and critique of society and culture, to the intersection of race, law, and power.

FilmLadd:
Chickens coming home to roost. That phrase is a tad familiar.

FilmLadd:
A gold statue of liberty would collapse.

Comment From Dan Collins
LOL, 15 trillion’s not what it used to be.

Comment From Jimi Cooder
The amount of radiation to turn Statue of Liberty to gold would neuter the East Coast

Comment From Merovign
This cannot be a drinking game, for liability purposes. Even with water.

Comment From Ben
Great so we need to just melt down the Statue of Liberty. Also, officials from Fort Knox just happened to be at a surprise development.

FilmLadd:
Note the clever use of special effects. They run the camera backward to make it look like the water is being sucked “in” instead of “out.”

Comment From jules
Robert Guillaume unlike Sarah Palin, has gravitas. (Posting as old fart Ben Stein.)

Comment From Capt Kirk
I huess the price of gold somehow does not crash with 100X the world supply

JWF:
Chickens coming home to roost. A confluece of Obama heroes

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
The 1992 Los Angeles Riots or South Central Riots, also known as the 1992 Los Angeles Civil Unrest[1][2][3] were sparked on April 29, 1992, when a jury acquitted three white and one Hispanic Los Angeles Police Department officers accused in the videotaped beating of black motorist Rodney King following a high-speed pursuit.

Comment From mugiwara
This just in, gold prices plummet, now worthless

Comment From Merovign
Calvin & Hobbes has superior spaceship effects.

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
The Final Solution is a 2003 documentary directed by Rakesh Sharma about the 2002 communal Gujarat Riots that arose as a response to the Godhra Train Burning incident on February 27, 2002,

DrewM:
Wait 15 trillion back in the 90s and we only get a tax free year?

Comment From TMTCJayne
“Chickens Home to roost…”?!

DrewM:
You know, if you could suddenly make anything gold, gold wouldn’t be worth very much.

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
The Melon Music Awards is a major music awards show that is held annually in South Korea.

Comment From sifty
England. where black families are safe

Comment From Elize Nayden
to england? i think id rather go with the aliens

Dan Collins:
Yeah, but if they’re smuggled to England, some of them might get to Scotland.

TMTCJayne:
“Chickens Home to Roost”!

Comment From PINK
No radicals to see here everyone move along

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
Rémy Martin (born 10 August 1979 in Aubenas, Ardèche) is a French rugby union footballer, currently playing with Montpellier in the Top 14 in France,

Slublog:
Wow. That was a great episode of “Justified.”

Um.

I mean…this movie is terrible.

Comment From kehoe
Ah I get it now the US is the only Raaaacist country makes sense now this is great metaphor art now that I get it

Comment From AZ Hi Desert
There isn’t enough beer on the planet for this. I’m switching to Bacardi 151. Neat. Straight from the bottle.

Comment From Dumb_Blonde
I quit smoking 7 weeks ago. Because of you bastards I’m going out and buying a carton.

DrewM:
Isn’t this “one drop” shit now officially policy in liberal California?

Dave in Texas:
I don’t blame em, who’d want the French?

ace:
Skin Whitener? I feel there may be some SYMBOLISM here, but I’m just missing it.

Slublog:
I hope none of you Morons is drinking right now, because brain cells were not made to take this much abuse.

Comment From Barack Obama
ACE!!!!!! Shut up! You’re spoiling the best part!!!!

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
The Ladies Man is a 2000 American comedy film that stars actor, comedian and former Saturday Night Live cast member Tim Meadows. It was directed by Reginald Hudlin. The movie focuses on the exploits of radio host and sex therapy expert Leon Phelps.

iowahawk:
This is like a Jack Chick tract.

Dave in Texas:
nappy headed… they’re killin me now

Comment From Ben
N-word and “Jew” mention!

Ben Howe:
“Fight back…like the Palestinians!”

CAC:
i guess hes never heard of “good hair”

Comment From Jim Treacher
Sorry I’m late. Did I miss the part about the racists?

Caleb Howe:
I spaced out, but I gather the Palestinians fight bad haircuts. Is that right?

Comment From Merovign
Yeah, but it’s *Leftist* racism, so it’s okay!

Comment From Fritz
This is how white people see the world. Really.

Jim Treacher:
You can tell that one guy is a dick because he has a nice haircut and also is white.

FilmLadd:
Have we ever had a national referendum on anything? We live in a Republic, not a Democracy. And that’s why Bell was a Harvard Professor.

Comment From Joseph Lowery
Is this where white refuses to embrace what’s right?

Caleb Howe:
Every single meeting that involves more than 5 white people and at least one cigar must take place in a room with at least 10 dead animals on the wall, per the white people charter.

Slublog:
Dead animals on the wall. Clearly, they’re evil.

Ben Howe:
“If we get rid of blacks. who’ll eat pork and drink liquor?” Is this really what they’re going with?

Comment From donna
Ace, I don’t think this is supposed to be a comedy…

iowahawk:
Market research!

FilmLadd:
Note that a national media campaign to change around a referendum only takes a few minutes to throw together, as long as you have a lot of men with stuffed animals on the walls.

Comment From EnochF
The Oil Companies, LLC

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
Field Marshal George Douglas-Hamilton, 1st Earl of Orkney KT (9 February 1666 – 29 January 1737) was a British soldier and Scottish nobleman and the first British Army officer to be promoted to the rank of Field Marshal.

Comment From Ben
Whites on their knees begging blacks to stay.

FilmLadd:
Yes, rich people want everyone else to be poor. Or taken away by aliens.

Comment From Merovign
I think the funniest part is the comments from the people who haven’t watched that yet, and didn’t listen when we said, “yes, it is that bad. ” :)

Jim Treacher:
The thing I like about this is that it does not provide a crucial clue into how liberals think.

DrewM:
As a white male, I’m really amazed how they’ve captured my inner thoughts. GET OUT OF MY MIND!

Comment From John P. Squibob
Ann Coulter just emailed me to ask who Sandra Fluke is. She has been paying attention to the news.

Comment From Kratos (Ghost of Sparta)
This is every liberal racial sterotype put in a blender after you hit “Puruee”.

Slublog:
Where are the Hispanics and the Asians? This movie is so racist.

Comment From Merovign
Like a Klan fantasy from the developmentally disabled… on acid.

Ben Howe:
It’s about time someone besides Sandra Fluke was on their knees. RIght? Am I right?

ace:
okay, so in this section we learned that without blacks, major industries in running shoes, malt liquor, and Kools would crumble. this is apparently a pro-black message.

iowahawk:
If this movie was made by white people, they would be imprisoned. And I’d support it.

Caleb Howe:
I’m putting down my whiskey and cigar, and I’m standing up against these stereo … dammit. Hit my head on my marlin.

The Oil Compaies:
We’ll be out of business.

Comment From mugiwara
That was an awesome scene. Felt like something outta a college dorm bong session

Comment From sifty
i feel like I just paid full price for a nazi uniform by watching this

FilmLadd:
I still wonder if Dr. Fanon is an Armenian name.

Comment From George Lucas
I’m hard as a rock.

Comment From Palandine
Well, so far it’s better than The Phantom Menace…

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
Jeremiah Alvesta Wright, Jr. (born September 22, 1941) is Pastor Emeritus of Trinity United Church of Christ (TUCC), a church in Chicago exceeding 6,000 members.[1

rdbrewer:
It is better than The Phantom Menace.

ace:
I think the Rabbi should have worn a big sign reading “JEW,” I wasn’t sure enough by his dress and beard.

iowahawk:
It’s like Fatburger meets Protocols of the Elders of Zion

CAC:
This lacks the subtlety of “The Room”

Comment From EnochF
Are these the same five actors that are the Evil White People in the Shaft movies?

Slublog:
This is the best movie ever. For mocking.

TMTCJayne:
So it’s racist… so what? It actually helps the racist cause… cause it makes racism cool, or something?

Comment From Percival
The test pattern is better than Phantom Menace

ace:
I feel like I’m getting raped in my brain-ass

Comment From Sgt. York
It’s also less racist than Phantom Menace.

Ben Howe:
This is completely unrealistic. We’d never have a black fellow in our secret cabal cabin.

Slublog:
So can we do “Birth of a Nation” next?

Comment From Jimbo
Like it’s impossible to illegally cross the border into Mexico.

Ben Howe:
I HAVE TO KNOW HOW IT ENDS!!

iowahawk:
Bilderburgers control the menthol cigarette and malt liquor industry

Ben Howe:
clearly this guy should’ve been dean of Harvard

Caleb Howe:
if this movie were remade today, all the main white characters would be played by Mitt Romney.

Dave in Texas:
Oh shit… smokes and Remy

TMTCJayne:
Cigareetes & Cognac… No Fanta Grape?!

FilmLadd:
“A Special Presentation”

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
African Americans in Omaha, Nebraska are central to the development and growth of the 43rd largest city in the United States.

Ben Howe:
Wow. Cigarettes, cognac, sports…. I think Bell hated black people.

Slublog:
Is that really Casey Kasem?

Comment From EnochF
Casey Kasem will sae us all from the Jews!

Ben Howe:
Holy paper thin satire Batman!

Comment From MikeTheMoose
WTF!!!?? No SRLY!! WTF!!? Cigarettes and cognac?

Dan Collins:
Screw this. I’m switching to Soul Train.

rdbrewer:
Derrick Bell thought very little of his audience.

JWF:
Kasem’s of Lebanese descent, no?

Slublog:
This must have been made when Michael Jackson was still black.

JWF:
Chickens roosting again. Between that and Oreas, I need a snack

Ben Howe:
chickens again?

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
Green Team Advertising is a New York City-based, full-service strategic communications agency. Green Team president Hugh Hough was chosen as one of Al Gore’s ambassadors for the Inconvenient Truth film in 2007.

FilmLadd:
Bawk

rdbrewer:
The chickens again.

Comment From Unclever name
Again with the roosting and the chickening

Comment From Waterhouse
Mmmm, roast chickens. Wait, what?

iowahawk:
Chicken & Waffles come home to roost

Comment From Jimi Cooder
I image a young Barack watching this in the Eighties with tears rolling down his face

Comment From The Chicken
Please leave me out of this…

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
On the Justice of Roosting Chickens: Reflections on the Consequences of U.S. Imperial Arrogance and Criminality is a 2003 book written by Ward Churchill and published by AK Press.

DrewM:
So according to Derek Bell, we need black people to dink crappy alcohol, smoke cigarettes and entertain me with music and sports? And I’m the racist?

ace:
I predict we’ll know his speech works when we start hearing “Ummm-HM!” from the crowd.

iowahawk:
Watching this movie was Obama’s senior thesis.

Ben Howe:
whites insist on having stuff!

DrewM:
Resist we musn’t much?

iowahawk:
White people stole our dance

Ben Howe:
oooooh! the answer! Use white people’s greed and lust for power to win!

CAC:
“go ape”? obvious racism

Comment From Waterhouse
So he’s going to swing the election by talking to a small church group on the eve of the referendum?

ace:
wait, so blacks are basically just doing this to get back at white people?!?!

ace:
really? That’s this film’s message? They’d go with aliens just to get us jealous?

ace:
I thought this was going to be racist against whites. I didn’t understand it would be racist against everyone.

Ben Howe:
no ace, the message is that to win, they must use our greed and general evilness against us.

President Obama:
This is the best thing I’ve ever seen.

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
The Tomfoolery Show is an American cartoon comedy television series made and first broadcast in 1970, based on the works of Edward Lear.

Comment From Baraka Obama
I like the cut of this guy’s jib

Comment From Kratos (Ghost of Sparta)
This film has all the subtly of a sledgehammer.

Comment From jules
Any stereotype not covered yet?

Ben Howe:
“People without power must use cunning and guile” Ya heard it here first.

TMTCJayne:
OK, so the first two parts are needless… Part 3 is the shit!

Comment From Barakas ToTUS
Some say that Americans should vote “yes”. Others say Americans should vote “no”. I say they should vote “present”.

Slublog:
‘Amazing Grace’ Written by a former slave trader.

Subtle.

Jim Treacher:
If you don’t understand why this wasn’t the pilot for a highly successful series, you obviously haven’t read Derrick Bell.

Comment From Circa
No black church in history sang that badly.

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
Asia is the world’s largest and most populous continent, located primarily in the eastern and northern hemispheres. You may now continue

FilmLadd:
It’s like American Idol, except for genocide.

Slublog:
They’re voting by phone? American Idol, eat your heart out.

Comment From Derrick Bell
Spoiler Alert: I hate whitey

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
Idiocracy is a 2006 American film, a satirical science fiction comedy, directed by Mike Judge and starring Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph, Dax Shepard, and Terry Crews.

ace:
This isn’t really the movie, this is a parody by Weird Al Yankovic

Comment From Rev Al
We MUCH reject this offer from the greenies.

Comment From Jimbo
Is this all there is? Where is part 4, where we get to see them on another planet without whities laws or the Ten Commandments.

TMTCJayne:
Referendum will pass by comfortable margin. = Entrenched White Supremacy!

Jim Treacher:
And that’s why a black man will never be president or something.

Comment From Hedgehog
Where is the chinese guy with the little dick?

Comment From Ben
Black servant. Subtle.

Slublog:
Only one piece of carry on luggage? Oppression takes many form, my friends.

DrewM:
Only 1 piece of carry on luggage but at least they don’t get groped by the TSA

ace:
I can’t believe the main problem here regards carry on luggage.

Ben Howe:
The drama is so thick you could almost fall asleep

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
Hand luggage or cabin baggage (also commonly referred to as carry-on in North America) is the type of luggage that passengers are allowed to carry along in the passenger compartment of a vehicle instead of moving to the cargo compartment. You may now continue…
[Scott: Soledad references due to this, background here.]

Caleb Howe:
Why would the aliens specify carry-on?

CAC:
is the implication that black people cant afford to pay for the extra luggage fee?

Comment From Dr Spank
No luggage? Oprah will not be amused.

Jim Treacher:
The newscaster’s quiet dignity is devastating.

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
Bacon’s Rebellion was an uprising in 1676 in the Virginia Colony in North America, led by a 29-year-old planter, Nathaniel Bacon.

FilmLadd:
Is that Bacon or Sausage? Hard to tell on youtube. .

Comment From Merovign
It’s not quiet dignity, it’s valium.

DrewM:
Guns for everybody? 2nd Amendment is looking pretty good now, eh?

FilmLadd:
Border? Guns? That’s for Republicans, not Democrats.

Comment From Hedgehog
Does anyone else have tears running down their faces at this shit?

Aaron Worthing:
CAC: in the story, they gave them no luggage, and didn’t even let them wear clothes, except for one piece of underwear, to make the abduction as much like the middle passage as possible.

Dave in Texas:
YOu could still get guns from ATF agents

Caleb Howe:
oh I see, this movie is about opposing gun control.

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
Avon Calling is an album of tracks featuring bands from Bristol, UK, on local record label Heartbeat Records, and was originally released in 1979.

ace:
this is so completely not radical, I don’t know what Joel Pollack was thinking.

Jim Treacher:
He looks like Alan Ruck, if Alan Ruck made you want to punch him in the face even more.

Comment From Sammy316
Aliens hate England, its a scientific fact

rdbrewer:
A doublecross! I didn’t see that coming.

Ben Howe:
So, the lesson seems to be that when liquor, pork cognac sales don’t work, escape to England?

ace:
I like that they didn’t bother with a real thug, they just gave the chauffeur a gun.

CAC:
school buses of auschowitz

Ben Howe:
man, nothing makes me angrier than institutional racism that never happened.

ace:
CAC, they would have done a train but it would have cost a thousand bucks

TMTCJayne:
To the Food Deserts with you! Michelle haz some greens, though

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
The Rosa Parks Hempstead Transit Center is the Nassau Inter-County Express system’s indoor customer facility between Jackson and West Columbia Streets in Hempstead, New York.

FilmLadd:
These are the buses Mayor Nagin didn’t use during Katrina

Aaron Worthing:
okay again, what is with the wife? so she was faking being black her whole life?

Comment From Sgt. York
Curse your sudden yet inevitable betrayal!

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
Parliament-Funkadelic is a funk, soul and rock music collective headed by George Clinton.

Comment From Fritz
When does this peyote wear off?

Caleb Howe:
The best part of that movie was when I hadn’t watched it yet.

Jim Treacher:
It doesn’t matter why the aliens wanted all the black people, I guess.

Dan Collins:
The Joooos kinda disappeared at the end.

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
That simply was not racist.

Ben Howe:
you see the implicit message? It’s subtle, but basically if we don’t do something soon, aliens are going to teleport Benson and call him an oreo. Deep stuff.

Dave in Texas:
they turned on him ace. But he got to rise up into heaven like Jesus

Comment From Ben
She wasn’t black enough for the aliens. So they left her behind. Part of that whole melanin requirement.

JWF:
White guilt won’t keep me awake tonight

iowahawk:
A toast… to HARVARD!

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
I’m sorry,I just don;t see the bombshell here. Where is the bombshell?

Ben Howe:
so turns out Bell wasn’t racist, he was just batshit crazy.

TMTCJayne:
To OBAMA’S ALMA MATER, HARVARD LAW!

Jim Treacher:
Natural-sounding dialog is racist.

Comment From Tee Zieldors
Harvard Law Tuition: $40,000 Sitting in a class taught be the guy who wrote Space Traders- Priceless

CAC:
be sure to read Bell’s other fictional work, “Ass Goblins of Auschowitz”. Just as subtle.

iowahawk:
All that was missing was Bootsy Collins descending from the Muthaship for a funkyass bass solo

Caleb Howe:
We didn’t land on plymouth rock! Plymouth rock got sucked into the sky by a white beam cast down from robot reagan’s star destroyer jr.!

Soledad OBriens Earpiece:
Not racist at all. I wil have a professor on tomorrow morning to explain why that is so.

Ed Wood:
I’m not the worst filmmaker ever! I’m not the worst filmmaker ever!

ace:
Well there you go. There was a Not Radical At All Movie from Obama’s intellectual mentor.

FilmLadd:
It should be remembered that “Space Traders” was directed by the highly oppressed Reginald Hudlin, who directed The Ladies Man, Serving Sara, and roughly 50 different episodes for large and small tv series. This man is being completely oppressed out of the business.

Slublog:
That movie makes me want to hug a racist. Like the president did.

FilmLadd:
I need a cigarette. Preferably Kools.

CAC:
For some reason, I have a huge urge to drink Remy Martin and switch to MCI.

Comment From Merovign
It’s typical liberal comedy: “You’re evil, you’re stupid, I hate you, why aren’t you laughing, don’t you get the joke?”

Jim Treacher:
Space Traders 2: Polemic Boogaloo

CAC:
Space Traders 2 – The Wrath of Chaka Khan

Dave in Texas:
Space Traders 2: Let’s Do It Again!

ace:
no seriously that was like a movie the Fat Albert kids would make as a prank and then sell tickets for a nickle a seat

CAC:
Ace there were a few guys in sombreros in the church scene. Trust me they tried to hit every stereotype.

Caleb Howe:
In the M. Night Shyamalan version of that movie, it turns out the aliens were actually Will Smith.

Aaron Worthing:
ace: in the original story its all black and white people. asians, hispanics, etc. barely exist. see here: http://allergic2bull.blogspot.com/2012/03/i-read-space-traders-by-derrick-bell-so.html

Dave in Texas:
Space Traders 2: Blackula in Space

CAC:
The sequel involved us giving up anyone who lived in Delaware. Since nobody would be outraged by that, it flopped.

Comment From El Kabong
In the Michael Bay version…shit just blows up

Jim Treacher:
See, because they thought if they made their pitch while appearing to us as Reagan, we’d be like, “Oh, okay.”

Caleb Howe:
In the James Cameron version of that movie, the aliens are only asking for Leonardo DiCaprio.

FilmLadd:
Note that this was directed by the highly oppressed Reginald Hudlin. He wasn’t just black-listed, he was melanin listed.

iowahawk:
No dogmas were harmed in the making of this film.

Aaron Worthing:
film: the story is even dumber. in it the aliens only want any person listed as black on their birth certificate or driver’s license, none of this color test.

Comment From Sammy316
Thanks Ace & et. al. for the afternoon racism. Nothing gets your point across like feeding stereotypes about yourself. It was a blast.

Comment From garrett
can we watch it backwards?

Comment From Al Sharpton
I didn’t see one muthafuckin racist thing in this film we much.

iowahawk:
Filmed on location in Academic Fever Swamp, MA

Caleb Howe:
In the Christopher Nolan version of this movie, the whole thing was a dream. OR WAS IT.

Dave in Texas:
I’m going to go hug my black neighbors now. Now is a good time, it’s early and they’re not hopped up on drugs

CAC:
It must have been hard having a cast made entirely of cardboard. Give the director some slack.

Comment From JFirch
I didn’t see the White Man’s Overbite, so it seemed incomplete.

Comment From Jesse Jr
How much does your campaign need for me to get star role in Space traders 2

CAC:
How they managed to make characters with fewer dimensions than a Michael Bay film astounds me.

Comment From Barack
Glad you liked my movie, bitches!

Johor: 5-Year-Old Kidnapped, Murdered, Body Burnt

March 14, 12

From The Star 14 March 2012:

Nurul’s killers ‘cruel and cold-blooded’

JOHOR BARU: Cold-blooded murder.

That is how the police have described the killing of five-year-old Nurul Nadirah Abdullah.

“The persons involved are cruel animals and we will do all we can to nab them.

“We still do not know the motive for the incident,” said state police chief Deputy Comm Mohd Mokhtar Mohd Shariff to reporters after visiting the family of Nurul Nadirah or Dirang at the Seri Delima flats, Bandar Seri Alam here, yesterday.

He added that his deputy Senior Asst Comm Datuk Ismail Yatim had been directed to take charge of the case and complete the investigation papers to speed up prosecution.

Mokhtar said three of the four suspects arrested, including a woman, aged between 30 and 40, tested positive for drugs, including metamphetamine or “ice”.

“Two of them have previous criminal records for drug offences and theft,” he said.

Asked if the suspects themselves had led the police to Dirang’s body, Mokhtar confirmed that they had not but refused to elaborate.

Police confirmed on Monday that the charred body found buried in an oil palm estate in Nusa Damai, Masai, on March 8 matched the DNA of Nurul Nadirah’s mother Roselyn Alan.

Nurul Nadirah, five, went missing on March 1 after going to the shop near her flat alone to buy some instant noodles.

Her grandmother Milnah Jul and some residents, meanwhile, visited the site where Dirang was found.

Religious teacher Hafizah Abdul Rowff Khan, 37, said she was shocked that the incident had taken place near her home and had decided not to allow her children to play outside the house from now on.

Meanwhile, Home Minister Datuk Seri Hishammuddin Tun Hussein said the police had given their reassurance that they would do everything in their power to bring Nurul Nadirah’s murderers to book.

He added that the public’s outpouring of grief and sorrow over the gruesome death reflected Malaysians’ concern for each other regardless of race and religion.

Hishammuddin said he was proud that Malaysians continued being a caring lot despite the general assumption that the value was fast eroding.

JB: Gun Wielding Suspects Arrested, Linked to 15 Murder/Robbery Cases

March 8, 12

From The Star 6 March 2012:

Cops open fire at armed Indonesian gang in Johor

JOHOR BARU: Four Indonesians and a 50-year-old local woman were arrested in a raid on a house during which police had to open fire to subdue the suspects.

Johor police chief Deputy Comm Datuk Mohd Mokhtar Mohd Shariff said the drama unfolded when police raided a house in Taman Johor Jaya at 1.30am last Wednesday.

“One of the suspects pointed a gun at the police so my men were forced to fire two shots. One hit a suspect’s left knee,” he said during a press conference here yesterday.

He said police seized two semi-automatic pistols and 17 rounds of ammunition as well as a car.

“We believe that with the arrest of the suspects, aged between 30 and 50, we are able to solve 15 cases involving murder and robbery in the Seri Alam, Nusajaya and Kulaijaya areas,” he said.

In another case, DCP Mohd Mokhtar said police detained a 31-year-old man at Hospital Sultan Ismail at 3.20am on Feb 23 for having a gun.

He said the suspect was being investigated under Section 8 of the Firearms (Increased Penalties) Act 1971, which carries a maximum 14-year jail term and at least six strokes of the cane upon conviction.

“We found a pistol and five rounds of ammunition on the suspect, who has records for murder, robbery and drug offences,” he said.


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