What Door to Door Evangelists for Atheism Would Really Be Like

STEP 1: Here’s the original cartoon that’s been making the rounds on the web:

STEP 2: Compare what actual atheists are regularly noted for (hint: it’s not positively extolling the virtues of nonbelief, that’s for sure):

- Flinging ‘unholy water’ on a highway to negate a blessing
- Put up signs mocking religion – on space for Nativity scenes… Which gets all displays banned (tipped by wits0).
- Booking up as many display lots as possible – intentionally at Christmas and Hannukah time
- ‘De-baptizing’ people of holy water with a hair dryer
- Offering porn in exchange for Bibles to declare that the Bible is worse
- Threatening a lawsuit to force the removal of a landmark chapel from a city logo – because it has a cross
- Put up a confrontational billboard, at Christmas of all times
- Seemingly the majority of remarks left on a blog, comments section, message board or Twitter feed by atheists. Examples: ohTHATJesus Twitter feed, By The Book Comics.
- Among the most rabid hobbies of basically every single Communist regime which all just happen to be de-facto atheist. Examples: Leninist Russia, Stalinist USSR, Communist China, Khmer Rouge Cambodia, North Korea, Cuba, Calles’ Mexico, and overall list here.

STEP 3: Thus I submit my edit of the cartoon, to better reflect reality:

As Ace says:

But one of the central planks of the Church of Atheism is that religion is inherently evil and causes you to behave like an a$$hole.

Well, that’s not true. Most religious people are as far away from a$$holery as is possible.

Sure, there are the always-present Some. Some are a$$holes. Sure.

But if it’s religion that’s causing all this illogic and anger and emotionalism and pettiness and spitefulness and general a$$holery, why is it so present among those who have no religion?

And via AoSHQ, Dinesh D’Souza:

But if you think about it, this is an inadequate explanation, because if you truly believe that there is no proof for God, then you’re not going to bother with the matter. You’re just going to live your life as if God isn’t there.

…

What I’m getting at is that you have these people out there who don’t believe that God exists, but who are actively attempting to eliminate religion from society, setting up atheist video shows, and having atheist conferences. There has to be more going on here than mere unbelief.

Ace, btw, is not a religious person – self described as atheist/agnostic – and is by no means a Christian.

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See also twin posts, Christianity Inspires Good in A Way Unbelief Cannot Emulate (serious) and Things That Are Highly Unlikely (Atheism vs Christianity) – Me on Twitter (snarky).

The Ryskind Sketchbook is Back

And in action once again!

Blogging at his WordPress, and tweeting at this handle.

I’ve long been using his spot-on cartoons to make a point.

Super Street Pianist 2 Turbo

Lol, found via Kotaku’s Facebook:

And the post notes that:

Hey, look! This shirt got reprinted on Threadless. Yayyyyy shirt!

If you want it: http://www.threadless.com/product/1773/The_Ultimate_Combo

Previous Street Fighterness:

Street Fighter – How Do You Do Ken?

Literal Street Fighter

Halolz: Street Fighter – Are You Ken?

Ace-Bizarro For Prez!

Lololol! Ace the comic genius is on a roll once again, goofing on this backfire and with references to DC Comics as bonus injokes for those in the know.

Via AosHQ via Twitchy and with the rest direct from AoSHQ Twitter feed:

.@davidaxelrod, when you go around claiming a 4.7% unemployment rate is bad but an 11% rate is good, do you mean on Bizarro-Earth?

Me doing so well in Wisconsin, me probably lose by 9 4.bp.blogspot.com/_gFHN1h-l96c/T…

Me hate 4.7% unemployment rate. Me want 94% unemployment. Me consult strategist @davidaxelrod. He so smart he knows nothing.

Me foreign policy? It so simple no one can understand it. Me insult and alienate allies and kowtow to rivals. Me learned from the worst.

Eca, ecanomix… Jobz? Jobz simple. Me punish job creators until they destroyed. Then me say “Ha ha ha!” Then they make jobz.

Me hope to win Nobel Peace Prize before me even take office. Then me start a war without congressional approval as thank you.

Me promise 3 cut deficit in half in first term. How, me ask you? By borrowing sixteen trillion dollars. It so easy it impossible.

,b>Me will increase economie by putting your moneys into businesses that fail. Who getz the profits? You do!!

Me will reduce unemployment by making peoplez lose so much hope they stop looking 5 work. Then unemployment fallz, everyone sad!!!

Me have simple fix for health problems: Me call it “Death Panels.” Me health advisor Braniac says it very good.

Brainiac have some other good ideas, like reducing earth population to Cro-Magnon slave thralls, but me save this for State of Union.

Me promise to close Gitmo. This is Bizarro highest promise. Prisoners will be kept in Phantom Zone projector. Which will be kept at Gitmo.

Me promise to lead free world by asking French president what me should do.

Mitt Romney’z 4.7% unemployment rate no good. Me pretty sure me can double that.

Bizarro knows more about Judaizm than anyone because Bizarro has lots of Jewish enemiez. Like Solomon Grundy, me think. Sounds Jewish.

Me thought Vandal Savage was Jewish but one year me get Christmaz card from him, so me no know. Maybe he just being nice.

Elect Bizarro, and me promise to increase unemployment to 94%.

Obama Campaign: Voters Sent Strong Message to Walker | “Stop what you’re doing immediately or we’ll vote for you”

That is way 3 deal with job creators. You smash them into the ground, then you say “Ha ha ha, I have vanquished you, job creatorz.”

Amerika must invest in jobz of the future so we no lose to China. Jobz like kryptonite mining, and giant robots with kryptonite hearts.

If we no give $500 million to billionaire Lex Luthor, how he invest? We can’t lose Giant Kryptonite Robot race to China.

Split Screen Repeats of Yourself Music Performances

Via Dueling Analogs via Halolz, the Dr Mario Fever theme has always been catchy and I still remember it after close to 2 decades. Now it’s even more amusing:

Reminds of this one, the Shop theme from The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time:

And Muppets Ode to Joy with Beaker:

One Winged Office

Loltastic via Dueling Analogs via Topless Robot, love the lyrics, Sephiroth’s FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUrage and the costuming!

Internet Super Friends

Found on Facebook:

Apt match-ups if you know your DC universe!

And of course, last panel take-that at everyone’s favourite ‘watered down’ powers hero!

UPDATE: Full set via Mashable from original creator at College Humour:

North Korea vs South Korea: We Require More Minerals

Via Comixed, from The Oatmeal. So sadly true…

Once again, I thank the selfless Americans who allowed me to be a middle class capitalist pig, wasting time on teh Internets, instead of having to be a dirt farming tourist leech.

So, who wants to espouse Communism/Socialism over capitalism?

PS. So why is it murderous commies were also always atheists?

Saturday Morning Cartoon Tributes/Satires

I’m from that era, so I love this stuff.

Watchmen:

Skyrim (obvious tribute to the opening of the Dungeons & Dragons cartoon, which you can watch the whole series of at this site):

Original production, Space Stallions (feels like a combination of Brave Star, Silverhawks, Starchaser: The Legend of Orin, everything! And gotta love the music):

Mass Effect:

The Ballad of Brave Sir Robin

Gotta love the trollaciousness of the minstrels who are supposedly Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot’s staunches supporters!

The Ballad of Brave Sir Robin

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken;
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away;
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen–

(Sir Robin: That’s – that’s, uh – that’s enough music for now, lads.)

Upon meeting the dreadful Three-Headed Knight:

Three-Headed Knight: What do you want?
Minstrel: [singing] To fight! To figh-
Sir Robin: Shut up!

And after, umm, skilfully avoiding the Three-Headed Knight:

Brave Sir Robin ran away.
Bravely ran away, away!
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin!

Which is apparently continued all the way to when Sir Robin regroups with King Arthur:

He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and p*ssing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge…

Script and images here, including Sir Robin’s responses to the minstrels.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail full film here, via AoSHQ.

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And One Piece not only tributes the Three-Headed Knight:

But even provides a wholly possible (yet somehow even more absurd) explanation for the three heads, one body thing:

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My Python-esque take on a Malaysian news item at here.