Oh Al Gore, You Are My Hero! I Love You, Take Me Now!


Ugh-O! A smarmy piece of work that constantly praises… Nay, nigh on worships Al Gore as a modern day messiah! (I refuse to give him a capital M.)

The very title gives away the whole Holy Temple of Gore slant of the article by ripping off the title of the film The Last Temptation of Christ

You may shudder with the heebie-jeebies or convulsively vomit as you read the Time magazine writer’s puppy-love inspired bad poetry. Hey, I sound a bit like Ann Coulter! Not bad. My comments in [square brackets].

Please note that my post is a tongue-in-cheek polemic insult piece. Feel free to flame me for any reason you think up through the comments button.

————–

From Time magazine:

– Let’s say you were dreaming up the perfect stealth candidate for 2008, a Democrat who could step into the presidential race when the party confronts its inevitable doubts about the front runners.

– In other words, you would want someone like Al Gore—the improbably charismatic, Academy Award–winning, Nobel Prize–nominated environmental prophet with an army of followers and huge reserves of political and cultural capital at his command.

– In the face of wrenching disappointment, he showed enormous discipline—waking up every day knowing he came so close, believing the Supreme Court was dead wrong to shut down the Florida recount but never talking about it publicly because he didn’t want Americans to lose faith in their system. That changes a man forever.

– He dedicated himself to a larger cause, doing everything in his power to sound the alarm about the climate crisis, and that decision helped transform the way Americans think about global warming and carried Gore to a new state of grace.

– “If the crib’s on fire, you don’t speculate the baby’s flame retardant! If the crib’s on fire, you save the baby!” [Echh, alarmist bad analogy! I respond to thee, if the crib is not on fire, don’t delude yourself that it is and smother the baby to death with an eco-friendly blanket!]

– The place erupted, and Usborne dipped down onto one knee and bowed her head. Her dark hair fell across her eyes and her voice rose. “Please! I’ll vote for you!” she cried above the crowd’s roar, which sounded like a rocket launcher and lasted almost 30 seconds, all but drowning out Gore’s simple, muted, five-word response: “I’m not planning to run.”

– The Assault on Reason will be hailed and condemned as Gore’s return to political combat. But at heart, it is a patient, meticulous examination of how the participatory democracy envisioned by our founders has gone awry—how the American marketplace of ideas has gradually devolved into a home-shopping network of 30-second ads and mall-tested phrases, a huckster’s paradise that sells simulated participation to a public that has all but lost the ability to engage. [One might be forgiven for accurately applying this observation to global warming alarmism.]

– One moment he is lecturing you about something you think you know pretty well, and the next moment he’s making a connection you had never considered. The associative leaps are dazzling…

– Gore hopes that the Internet, which is so good at inviting people back into the conversation, will be the key to restoring American democracy. [How true! If you’ve noticed, there are plenty of sites online skeptical towards gloabl warming… But seldom anything but alarmism and consensus in the papers and on TV.]

– Gore often compares the climate crisis to the gathering storm of fascism in the 1930s, and he quotes Winston Churchill’s warning that “the era of procrastination” is giving way to “a period of consequences.” To his followers, Gore is Churchill—the leader who sounds the alarm. [How ironic. Michael Crichton also compares global warming consensus science to Churchill and the 1930s… He illuminates the similarities it has to eugenics.]

– There’s an even deeper issue here, and with Gore, it’s always the deepest issue that counts. What’s at stake is not just Gore losing another election. It’s Gore losing himself—returning to politics and, in the process, losing touch with the man he has become.

– The Internet is as big a deal as he said it would be. [You mean, the one that he invented?]

– Global warming is as scary as he had warned. He wasn’t being messianic, as people used to say, just prescient. [If Al Gore wasn’t being messianic, well, the writer of this piece sure still treats him like he’s messianic.]

– A year passed before they realized what a phenomenon this was becoming. “We were on tour, doing the slide show, and men and women would come up to Al after,” Tipper says. “Silently weeping.” 

– “All the trainees will tell you the same thing,” he says. “That movie changed our lives.” [So, a novel with pages and pages of footnotes and scientific references should not be believed; but a big-time movie with selectively protrayed data is the new training video towards salvation?]

– “Trust me on this. If audiences had an unlimited attention span, I’d be in my second term as President.”

– And then, for the next five hours, Gore walks them through it, slide by slide, deconstructing the art and science, making it clear both how painstakingly well crafted and how scrupulous it is. [The phrase ‘well crafted’ is usually followed by the word ‘lies’ or ‘fable’.]

– Later, a woman stands up in the back of the big room and asks the Question. “Not to put any pressure on you,” she says, “but, by golly, we deserve a leader like you.” They’ve got one—whether or not he runs. [Maybe they DO deserve a leader like him! Ha!]

– He would adopt a cap-and-trade program that would allow U.S. industry to meet reduction targets in part by trading pollution credits. Critics often dismiss carbon offsets as the green equivalent of religious indulgences, but in fact they stimulate the market—moving entrepreneurs to find dirty plants, clean them up and sell the CO2 reductions. [Well, it doesn’t seem to be working in Europe! What were we saying about the 1.5 trillion USD price tag to achieve nothing?]

– “More than half the articles written about global warming that year said it might not even be real.” [This may be the only part I like about the entire love ballad to Al Gore. The rest I just love to hate.]

– He draws from a number of faiths, from philosophy and self-help and poetry and from Gandhi’s concept of truth force, the idea that people have an innate ability to recognize the most powerful truths. [Another trait of new cults – picking and choosing and syncretizing religions all together under the latest saviour of the brain-washed masses.]

– “Obama is rising because he is talking about politics in a way that feels fresh to people … But anyway, I came through all of that”—he waves a hand that seems to encompass everything, the advisers pecking at him, the attacks in the media, his own mistakes, the unspeakable Florida debacle—”and I guess I changed. And now it is easier for me to just let it fly. It’s like they say: What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” [Or causes serious enough oxygen deprivation to turn him into a brain-dead zombie.]

—————

I sum it all up in one word:

Eeeewwwwwwwww!

Can someone please get Eric Pooley and Al Gore a room already! No air conditioning either, that’s bad for global climate!

Now please be excusing me while I…

*HURL!*

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