Moonbat Jokes



How many global warmists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. Energy inefficient filament bulbs are a carbon-spewing crime against Mother Gaia. We must only use mercury-laden fluorescent lights.


How long does it take Hillary Clinton to change a lightbulb?

35 years, and only after Barack Obama declares that he stands for Change.


How many Obamas does it take to change a lightbulb?

Didn’t Jimmy Carter already change that lightbulb 30 years ago?


If a tree falls in the forest, does it make a sound?

9/11 Twoofer: Trees don’t fall over by themselves! Fire doesn’t melt wood, it was brought down by thermite charges planted by Bush’s conspiracy!

Hamas: A great sound of suffering is heard from the Palestinian people, as the Zionist oppressors forcibly confisticate the tree that rightfully belongs to Gaza in order to build their apartheid wall!


Why did the Moonbat cross the road?

Because the sign said DO NOT CROSS ROAD.


Why did the ACLU cross the road?

You are hereby notified that we are filing suit against your offensive and intolerant hate speech which prominently included a Christian religious symbol.


What’s the difference between a furball that’s humping Captain Kirk and

One’s Tribble lechery, the other’s liberal treachery.


A pro-choice, 30-year old, liberal Moonbat was looking through a yard sale when she found an antique lamp. As she rubbed clean to see if it would make a good bong for smoking weed, a genie appeared out of it.

The genie said: “I will grant you one wish. Name your heart’s desire, and it will come true!”

Without hesitation, the Moonbat commanded: “I wish that every woman could freely choose to have an abortion!”

The genie snapped his magic fingers, altered time and space, and POOF!…

The Moonbat’s mother had an abortion when she got pregnant 31 years ago.



Above image is free for use by anyone for the purpose of counter-Moonbattery. 

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8 Responses to “Moonbat Jokes”

  1. hutchrun Says:

    Only the headline is true:
    Arab ministers urge more cooperation on terrorism,7340,L-3501438,00.html

  2. Scott Thong Says:

    Arab governments will make more progress fighting home-grown terrorist groups if security agencies across the region work together and share information, officials at a security conference said on Thursday.

    “The Maghreb region is targeted by terrorist organizations seeking to…terrify people and thwart economic projects,” Omran Ahmida, a senior Libyan official, said of North Africa’s Arabic-speaking region at the meeting in Tunis. (Reuters)

    Their definition of terrorism is shown by the image above. Nuff said.

  3. wits0 Says:

    Arab governments are particularly “inward looking”(the euphemism for bring especially selfish). When does perversity not creep into their normal speeches and declarations?

    They’re simply expressing disappointment at the slow cooperation of the infidels to be good Dhimmis.

  4. hutchrun Says:

    Podcasts asks if Liberals are Fascist?

    Haha and God is a racist, blacks n brownies bugger off:

    Allah’s preference for light skinned people and His disdain for dark skinned people is repeated in verse 7:46. Ibn Abbas writes that this verse tells the joy of the believers when they know those who enter hell by their darkened faces and blue eyes, and those who enter Paradise by their lightened faces: at once handsome and radiant.

    Allah’s love for the white skinned people continues unabated. In verse 3:107 Allah emphatically pronounces that white faces on the judgment day will receive His mercy. Jalalyn explains this verse, writing that, on the judgement day Muslims’ faces will be white.

    Thus, the Qur’an confirms that the inmates of Islamic hell are blacks; the residents of Islamic paradise are whites.

  5. hutchrun Says:

    Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez said in a speech recently that he chews coca every day, and that his “hook up” is Bolivian president Evo Morales. Chavez reportedly said, “I chew coca every day in the morning… and look how I am,” before showing his bicep to his audience, the Venezuelan National Assembly.

    Fergit his biceps. His brain`s turned to paste.

  6. wits0 Says:

    I guess each time Chevez visits M’sia he’ll be bringing in lotsa Coca leaves with full diplomatic immunity despite M’sia’s tough* antidrug law.

    * only for commoners i.e.

  7. hutchrun Says:

    Zombie attacks might increase due to global warming, study shows

    A new study by scientists has suggested that zombie attacks might increase if the current projections of global warming are realized. “If the earth gets warmer, it means longer springs, summers, and falls, and shorter winters,” said John Carpenter-Romero, Ph.D., a zombie-ologist who co-authored the study. “And shorter winters means more time for the undead to prey on the populace.”

    Dr. Harrister, the other co-author, and head of Zombie Robotics at Wayward Robot, Inc., explained that cold winters typically stalled the walking dead. “It is well known that zombies can’t operate in cold weather. It freezes their brains.”

    The pair calculated a 32.782412% increase in zombie attacks if CO2 increased to twice its pre-industrial rate. “Clearly, this is a very troubling result,” said Dr. Harrister, “If we don’t do something soon, the streets will be filled with blood.”

  8. darrell Says:

    Hey, thanks for the comments on my site, greatly appreciated. Would you like to trade links? I hope so. Here’s some C.S. Lewis
    and here’s my james madison bio

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