Ahmad Ismail: A Monty Python Sketch


Dedicated to the three newspapers facing show cause letters, and especially the Sin Chew reporter Tan Hoon Cheng arrested under the ISA…

For reporting about Ahmad Ismail’s racism which merely got him suspended from UMNO for 3 years.

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The Ahmad Ismail Sketch

An arrogant-looking man is standing on a street corner by a political party’s banner, shouting his message at passers-by.

Arrogant Looking Man: Chinese are squatters! No equal rights for these pendatang! We will push the Chinese, push them, push them!!!

Reporter Lady who passes by is shocked by his outburst, and quickly goes into a nearby police station.

Reporter Lady: Excuse me, officer. I’d like to report an incident of Hate Speech.

Officer #1: Ya ke? Serious ni! Err, what did this Hate Speech sound like, madam?

Reporter Lady: Well, it was about the Chinese being squatters, and ‘push the Chinese’, and…

Officer #1 looks shocked.

Officer #1: Stop right there! I’m sorry madam, but I will have to arrest you for Hate Speech.

Reporter Lady: Wh-what?! But I’m not giving any Hate Speech!

Officer #1: Don’t take me for a fool, madam. You were saying it right here in front of me!

Reporter Lady: But, but… I’m just telling you what a man out on street was saying! He was the one giving the Hate Speech!

Officer #1: Well now, just because someone is a Hate Speecher, doesn’t mean that you have to go and get all full of Hate Speech yourself!

Reporter Lady: But I’m not full of Hate Speech!

Officer #1: Tell that to the judge!

Officer #1 handcuffs the Reporter Lady..

Another officer walks by.

Officer #2: Good morning. What’s all this noise about? Can’t even have a teh tarik in peace…

Officer #1: This woman has been uttering Hate Speech. Terrible!

Officer #2: Hate Speech! Has this nation gone mad! To discriminate against your fellow Malaysians on the basis of ethnicity or religion. Shameful!

Officer #1: Actually, she was saying hateful things about the Chinese.

Reporter Lady: I was not!

Officer #1: Madam, please! No more Hate Mongering out of you.

Officer #2: Well, what did she say about the Chinese?

Officer #1: Oh, she was talking about ‘push the Chinese squatters’ and so on…

Officer #2 looks at Officer #1 in shock.

Officer #2: I’m afraid I’m going to have to arrest you for Hate Speech, sir!

Officer #1: Me? Hate Speech? Where got!?

Officer #2: Oh yes you did, you said ‘push the Chinese squatters’ just now!

Officer #2 slaps cuffs on Officer #1.

Another arm in police uniform reaches from the off-screen and slaps cuffs on Officer #2’s wrist.

Off-Screen Officer: I’m afraid I’ll have to book you for Hate Speech.

Officer #2 looks at the screen.

Officer #2: Adil juga!

Sketch ends.

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Monty Python Malaysian Motivational Poster

Above is #46 from Malaysian Politics Motivational Posters

Find out more at Susan Loone – Sin Chew Reporter Under ISA Too and Malaysiakini – ISA arrest No 2: Sin Chew journalist held.

Even Teresa Kok is taken in!

Based on original sketch by me, Hate Speech: A Monty Python-esque Sketch where you will the reference for “Adil juga!” (“It’s a fair cop!) at the bottom.


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