Once upon a time, there was a dog. I disliked the dog very much. So I decided that it should die. But, I did not want to be arrested for animal cruelty.
So, I threw rocks at the dog. It didn’t budge.
I taunted it and spat at it. It didn’t budge.
I sprayed it with a hose. It didn’t budge.
I actually went up to it and kicked it, hard! It didn’t budge.
I pulled its puppies tails. It didn’t budge.
I lit firecrackers and threw them at it to explode. It didn’t budge.
I lit firecrackers, tied them to kittens and threw the kittens at it to explode. It didn’t budge.
I would not give up so easily. I kept on doing these things to the dog.
Finally, after 18 months of provoking it every day, the dog finally tried to bite me in retalitation!
I was prepared for this: I pushed my baby brother into the dog’s jaws to protect myself. My baby brother cried out in pain, and I cried “The dog is a murderer!!! Oppression, cruelty, brutality!!! War crime against humanity!!! Holocaust!!!” (and I stepped on another of its puppies for good measure while doing so).
The next day, the authorities came and took the dog away to be put to sleep.
I am truly glad that dog is gone! I can’t even remember its name today, but I think it started with an ‘I’ or maybe a ‘J’ or a ‘Z’.