Jewish Witchcraft Summons Phantom Cats to Rape Gitmo Detainees


In the best traditions of tunneling 200 miles to steal the Nile’s water, unleashing house-sized bulldozers on innocent bystanders, sending strippers to lure and murder young boys, subversive music and social networking sites, and training vulture, shark, rat, squirrel and pigeon conspirators…

Here come the rapist cat ghosts sent by evuuuuul Jewish witches!

Via AoSHQ, from National Review:

Walid Muhammad Hajj: There were, of course, Jews among the [staff of] the Guantanamo Base, and they would set traps for the guys.

Interviewer: Give me an example of witchcraft.

Interviewer: Did they ever use witchcraft on you?

Walid Muhammad Hajj: There was one attempt.

Interviewer: How did they do it?

Walid Muhammad Hajj: Once, when I was sleeping – on the floor, not on a bed – I suddenly felt that a cat was trying to penetrate me. It tried to penetrate me again and again. I recited the kursi verse again and again until the cat left.

Interviewer: But there wasn’t really any cat there?

Walid Muhammad Hajj: Absolutely not.

This Gitmo, by the way:

Only one?!! The infedelic scum American oppressors!!!

——————–

On a tip from hutchrun, here’s the Wikipedia entry on Israeli Animal Spy Conspiracy Theories.


12 Responses to “Jewish Witchcraft Summons Phantom Cats to Rape Gitmo Detainees”

  1. Zack T Says:

    With the kind of recitation they read so often… it’s no wonder he had such ‘imagination’ of a ghost cat…

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  3. Katie Panino Says:

    Scott, I’ve read this story several times, and the only thing that always springs to mind (beyond that possibility that these dudes are possessed) is this thought: HOW DOES HE KNOW what being penetrated by a cat feels like WELL ENOUGH TO TELL IN THE DARK? That’s the real question here… And every answer I can think of is super scary.:/ I mean, is that part of Islamofascist training or something? “Lesson #28: How to tell if you are being penetrated by Jewish demon cats.”

    I don’t doubt that SOMETHING went on (probably involving drug abuse) but… seriously, HOW DOES HE KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE?!?!?! D:

  4. The Problem with Jewish Rape Cats « Katie Panino's Humor Bistro Says:

    […] to Moonbattery and ScottHong for helping me find this gem. LikeBe the first to like this […]

  5. Attack of the Invisible Jewish Rape Cats « Katie Panino's Fish Bistro Says:

    […] to Moonbattery and ScottHong for helping me find this gem. kpanino @ 8:48 am [filed under Islam, Military, Multiculturalism, […]

  6. Scott Thong Says:

    Lol, if he is from Afghan, he should have plenty experience with the being penetrated part no? And as for cats, guess that’s just a small hop from donkeys and sheep!

  7. Zack T Says:

    Could be from the fur… A donkey’s or a sheep’s fur is definitely different from how a cat’s fur would feel like..

    Maybe this invisible cat’s fur was the prickly kind… something like those stray cats on the street…

  8. Aaron Crouse Says:

    god didnt outlaw witchcraft fundi dumbass, a king did. the story goes god told the king to win the civil war which was pagan county not jewish/christen so it doesnt appl to jewish/christen was to outlaw dark magic not all and then to when the war god told the king to see a white witch. so stop teaching witchcraft is wrong this is blasphomy

  9. Zack T Says:

    Strange that I don’t recall seeing anything about Scott saying about God outlawing witchcraft in this particular blog post of his…

    And I’d love to challenge you on that last bit you claimed…
    Please give your supporting evidence that “the war god told the king to see a white witch”.

    And also, what do you have to say about these, Aaron?

    Exodus 22:18 (NIV), “Do not allow a sorceress to live.”

    Deuteronomy 18:10-11 (NIV), “Let no one be found among you… who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, 11 or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead.”

  10. Zack T Says:

    More on what the bible says about witchcraft.

    http://www.scripturessay.com/article.php?cat=&id=360

  11. paint Says:

    actually the original Hebrew translates closer to

    “do not suffer a poisoner to live”

    which actually referenced a murder or abortionist (since there are herbs that can be used as aborificients, and there is no crime quite as vulgar as murdering the unborn…..)

    Biblical witches: evil sorcery and poisoning: In the Hebrew Scriptures (Old Testament): an evil person who secretly uses spoken curses to intentionally harm others. The Hebrew word for such an individual is m’khashepah or m’khaseph (depending upon gender). Exodus 22:18 is one example. This is sometimes translated as “witch,” in some English translations of the Bible — particularly older versions. “Evil sorceress/sorcerer” would be a less ambiguous term. 1 This type of witch is also similar to ancient Native American usage.
    In the Christian Scriptures (New Testament): a criminal who murders people by secretly preparing and administering poisons. See Galatians 5:19-20. The Greek word here is “pharmakia,” from which our English word “pharmacy” originated. Probably because of King James’ obsessive fear of evil witches, the Greek word was translated as “witchcraft,” in the KJV Bible. “Poisoner” or “murderer” would be less ambiguous terms

    . not a “witch”, witch praticioner (doctor), or midwife.

  12. Zack T Says:

    Deuteronomy 18:10-11 (NIV), “Let no one be found among you… who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, 11 or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead.”

    I don’t think this verse is ambiguous, rather clear. No no to sorcery or necromancy.
    Doubt anyone can make a case for God condoning witchcraft of any particular kind.

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