1Malaysia Facts

My pick of the most amusing from 1MalaysiaFacts on Twitter:


Once, a mountain got in between #rosmahmansor and DIAMOND. Since that day, the area has been known as the PLUS highway tunnel near Ipoh.

Soon Malaysia will have a space program. That will use 100% of GDP. Because of the DIAMOND planet. alturl.com/wcnws Thx 2 #rosmahmansor

The song ‘Diamonds are Forever’ by Shirley Bassey is banned from #putrajaya – cos diamonds are for #ROSMAHMANSOR not this ‘Eva’ lady

#wikileaks reveal Malaysian stuff is false. There is only 1 type of leak here, that is ‘bocor’. Just ask Bung Mokhtar alturl.com/zp47q

@NajibRazak supports #RickPerry 2012, bcos it will speed up our Scorpenes plan alturl.com/y2cab alturl.com/5knvz

Johor CIQ has among world’s toughest immigration checks. We call it ‘If they can get into Singapore, they’re already thoroughly screened.’

#Taib watched ‘Catch Me If You Can’ but was asked to leave the theater. He kept shouting “Amateur! Blardy amateur!” at Dicaprio’s character.

@chedet_cc secret to still being so active at ripe old age? Death is in detention under #ISA for ‘threatening a former elected official’.

Can #rosmahmansor create a rock too big for herself to lift? Yes, but only if it is DIAMOND rock. With DIAMOND, ANYTHING is possible.

The First Lady of Verikechistan once compared herself against #rosmahmansor Never heard of Verikechistan? EXACTLY. U don mess with Rosmah.

Superman weak to Kryptonite, when nearby it saps his strength. Iron Man weak to Khir Toyo, when nearby it saps his $$ alturl.com/as7xa

Outer space exists because the stars are afraid #rosmahmansor mistakes them for DIAMOND.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of extinct species where @datosamyvellu was in charge of their public-funded survival programs.

Dun worry, whistle-blowing soldiers won’t be court martial or firing squad. They’ll just have to visit #MACC building! alturl.com/keaza

Islamophobia? WEST IS COPYCATS, WE DID IT FIRST! alturl.com/m83dn

Put ‘threats to national security’ in secret prison w/out trial but w/ torture? WEST IS COPYCATS, WE DID IT FIRST! alturl.com/wx7o8

Massive bailouts of failed govt-linked companies? WEST IS COPYCATS, WE DID IT FIRST! alturl.com/x76gb

Our mainstream media is super free and independent! So much so in fact, it purposely weighs itself down with BN ownership as ‘handicap’.

No one was brutalized at @bersih2 Such a rally never happened. It was all just special effects, just ask @chedet_cc alturl.com/n5bte

#UMNO holy fire is so righteous, it can even burn up virtual news portals on the Internets! alturl.com/qbmwh

#DAP Penang HQ burned? @http://ow.ly/i/fUMY Our esteemed rulers wish to convey that DAP’s HEATED RHETORIC caused a spontaneous combustion.

#ChuckNorris makes handbags by staring at crocodiles until they skin themselves. #rosmahmansor makes handbags out of 1 million ringgit.

Parameswara founder of #Melaka has many origin stories: Majapahit Prince, Alexander the Great’s son, born of fairies, #ChuckNorris cousin.

#ChuckNorris attended @bersih2 to purposely get hit by chemical-laced water cannon & tear gas. He was all out of body shampoo & deodorant.

If u think Malaysia’s waters too shallow for #Scorpene think again. #GlobalWarming will raise sea levels! Don’t underestimate @NajibRazak

Know your enemy. That’s y UMNO swapped youth leaders with Communist China, in order to nab the Parti Sosialis Msia 6. alturl.com/53vbf

Sabah & Sarawak richest b4 1963, now poorest? It’s bcos we made them MORE RICHER, the counter hit max & became 0 again alturl.com/3idnb

So @LFC beat Malaysia 6-3 in a friendly. We should field @SaifulBukhari – he’d bring HALF A FOOTBALL TEAM with him! tinyurl.com/4xcxvyd

Queen E. Remember when u met @NajibRazak in @bersih2 yellow? And now London is having street riots? UH HUH. U don’t mess with #rosmahmansor

It is a lie that the Scorpenes don’t work. They are just waiting for orders to blow up Causeway, but the crooked bridge plan isn’t finalized

Genghis Khan almost invaded Malaysia. However his soothsayer got a vision about ‘C4’ something and Genghis quickly ran back to Mongolia.

Isaac Newton did not discover gravity from watching apples fall from a tree. Actually he watched witnesses falling from #MACC building.

KKK, Apartheid & Neo Nazis planned to have a joint meeting in Malaysia. Then they heard #ibrahimali and committed seppuku out of inadequacy.

Chuck Norris can squeeze coal into diamonds with his bare hands. But #rosmahmansor can turn pocket money into 65.77 carats.

Mas Selamat was hiding in Johor, plotting to destroy peace & harmony. Then he read @UMonline and surrendered – Utusan Melayu already did it.

Oldest living person is USA Besse Cooper, age ONLY 115? Our Election Commission shakes head and quietly laughs. alturl.com/oijq6


See also other facts collections:

Rick Perry Facts

Dick Cheney Facts

Barack Obama Facts

Chuck Norris Facts

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