Civilization 5 Best Stories

A record of my fave alternate-pseudohistory experiences in Civilization 5.


Playing Egypt with a focus on getting every useful wonder in my capital. The Great People, happiness and Culture frequently kept me in Golden Ages and well on the way to Cultural victory.

Meanwhile, Alexander of Greece was busy conquering all his neighbors and so has the most land area. He’s first to get nukes and has been using them on France to my south at least.

Worried he might beat me to victory (maybe via Spaceship), I line my borders with subs (insurance against an offshore sub+nuke reaching me) and send a decapitation strike force to the waters off his capital Athens.

Turns out I don’t need to be the aggressor, one turn before I intend to make my move he declares war on me!

Interlude: While Alexander was busy fighting long wars, I had found a far off continent with 2 City States that was untouched by the rival civs. I quickly settled it and shortly conquered both City States for their Aluminium and Wine. This Alumnimum allowed me to build Modern Armor that was part of the strike force.

Anyways, Alexander’s puny one or two units are smashed at the gates of my heavily fortified frontline city. He has America, Spain and very especially France to thank for that – their semi-regular wars on me meant I had Artillery, defenders, a Great General and a Citadel as a greeting.

When it was my turn, a Nuclear Missile onto Athens covered most of the landscape with Fallout. My Modern Armor and Mechanized Infantry landed and in the next turns, proceeded to fail to take Athens (which was on a hill surrounded by hills, mountains and a one-tile lake making it slow and hard to surround). However I pillaged his Uranium to cut off my main concern (getting nuked).

Soon I decided to withdraw except for 2 units sent to suicide pillage his other Uranium deep in enemy territory. But due to America paying him an unfriendly visit just then, Alexander sued for peace offering me plenty of goodies (including 1 Uranium supply).

Anyway, I coasted to an easy Utopia Project soon after.

Now I’m doing Alexander myself, going for a build-up then make Allies of all City States route, but in this game or other maybe I’ll target to get all the uranium and nuke every opposing city to cover their landscape with -3 to all tile yields fallout. Play Russia for double Uranium supply mayhaps?


Playing as the Maya, scouting revealed that I was on a continent with only… Attila the Hun! So I decided to take out them out early to have the continent to myself. Also, they’re the Huns… Psychos would be harassing me with protracted wars every few decades.

I massed Atlatists while researching to reveal Iron. My army headed over to the Hun capital, which turned out to be their only city. Along the way, they passed Hun units including several Battering Rams on their way down to my territory!

The Huns declared war a turn or two after my Iron was linked up, allowing me to upgrade my Warrior to a Swordsman and begin training another Swordsman. The Swordsman easily outclassed anything Attila had, but the insane 300% bonus against cities conquered my only other city in one go if it reached close enough to attack! I reloaded several times to avoid that happening – not like I wouldn’t take the city back easily, but ANNOYING.

Meanwhile, my gang of Atlatists whittled down the Hun capital enough that in 2 turns, my Scout (!) could conquer the city. I had to deal with a large chunk of unhappiness until a Courthouse could be built, but from there I could spam cities at will. Together with Messenger of the Gods pantheon and Pyramids spamming another +2 science per extra city, I charged ahead in research while the other civs were bogged down warring on the other continent. (Settling a new city on that continent invited also immediate war, so I opted out and instead stayed at peace till an uncontested Space victory.)


Playing as Rome, my builder plans were diverted to a defensive war by Carthage’s annoying my very northern-located capital from the northeast. She didn’t really get anywhere as long as I kept my troops properly positioned, but then America on the southwest declared war which stretched my forces thin.

Strangely, after just a short while into war, America asked for peace – and tossed me a city for the trouble! I didn’t think I was much of a threat to him, let alone about to steamroll his borders. But gift horse, so…

Carthage remained a thorn as I wasn’t that far ahead technologically, and the hilly terrain around her nearest city (and as I found out later, almost completely surrounding her capital) made invasion difficult, especially by forcing my siege to be right next to her city to be able to hit in range.

With constant tech leaps to the next military level (e.g. gunpowder and later riflemen), eventually I took over Carthage’s near city, and later got her to sue for peace at the doorsteps of her capital.

Wary of America, I turned my armies to his borders and kicked him out of that corner of the continent entirely. And with tech to tanks, I finished off Carthage. Forgiveness not an entry in this Civilopedia.


See also other game related posts:

Share Your Skyrim Best Moments

Funny, Cool and Other Left 4 Dead 2 Stories

Plants vs Zombies Survival: Endless – Scott’s Setup

The Most Embarassing Ways to Die in Alien Swarm

Gratuitous Space Battles Quick Tips

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