The Ballad of Brave Sir Robin


Gotta love the trollaciousness of the minstrels who are supposedly Sir Robin the Not-Quite-So-Brave-As-Sir-Lancelot’s staunches supporters!

The Ballad of Brave Sir Robin

Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin!
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!

He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken;
To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away;
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!

His head smashed in and his heart cut out
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his pen–

(Sir Robin: That’s – that’s, uh – that’s enough music for now, lads.)

Upon meeting the dreadful Three-Headed Knight:

Three-Headed Knight: What do you want?
Minstrel: [singing] To fight! To figh-
Sir Robin: Shut up!

And after, umm, skilfully avoiding the Three-Headed Knight:

Brave Sir Robin ran away.
Bravely ran away, away!
When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
Bravely taking to his feet
He beat a very brave retreat,
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin!

Which is apparently continued all the way to when Sir Robin regroups with King Arthur:

He is packing it in and packing it up
And sneaking away and buggering up
And chickening out and p*ssing off home,
Yes, bravely he is throwing in the sponge…

Script and images here, including Sir Robin’s responses to the minstrels.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail full film here, via AoSHQ.

——————-

And One Piece not only tributes the Three-Headed Knight:

One Piece Three Headed Judge Baskerville

But even provides a wholly possible (yet somehow even more absurd) explanation for the three heads, one body thing:

One Piece Three Headed Judge Baskerville

———————————

My Python-esque take on a Malaysian news item at here.


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