Archive for the ‘Words’ Category

K is for Keith: The Movie/Trailer

August 18, 10

Lol!

Best imagined with the italicized standalone lines announced by that deep-voiced guy who does all movie trailer ever, with booming slightly-too-loud Dolby surround sound effects and dark surroundings and the cinema is too cold.

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Comedy At Midnight

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You know in a preview? Like for a movie? Like they spend the first minute of it explaining the situation to you in clear words and slow-moving pictures? So you get the basics?

And then, halfway through, they start showing fast-cuts of images scattered throughout the movie in an effort to convey action and excitement and quickening pace and heightening tension?

This is what Keith is doing. His words mean nothing here. He just starts jotting down synonyms for hate and fear and sh*t. And he doesn’t even take care about sentence structure or clarity during this part, because none of these words is supposed to stand on its own, just like the quick-shots at the middle/end of a thriller trailer aren’t supposed to stand on their own. They’re supposed to blur by with Furious Speed and Great Importance so that you get the sense that Something Interesting Is Happening.

And that’s all this sh*t is. It’s Keith tossing out the verbal equivalents of a butcher knife coming through a door, a car speeding on a rainy country road, a mother crying and dropping to her knees at awful news, and a scientist shocked at what he finds in a specimen jar.

So, like the beginning of his very special comment is all, like:

Imagine a world…

in which everything you thought was real, was fake….

everything you thought was right, was wrong…

and everyone you trusted — wanted your brain…

Right? And then this part is when the staccato percussion starts and you start seeing quick-shots of people jolting and doors opening and tires squealing and people screaming at a black female judge who bangs her gavel and gives that “oh no you di’n’t” face.

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At this point in the trailer, you’d now be out of the scary music part and now they’d show a man and woman embracing as violins sweetly rise (because they don’t want to end on a downer) and the voice says…

New Line pictures invites you…

to enter a world of…

unexpected possiblities…

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At this point, like, Diane Lane is, like, chopping onions at a chef’s school? And she starts to cry, but Gerald Butler sees her and makes a silly face, so she laughs? It’s all cute, you know. They look good together. You want them together, and stuff?

Okay, so now the title of the movie comes up, right? And it’s a movie about a 50 year old, glasses-wearing, fat-a$$ed-but-hides-it-on-tv broken down old man who probably has to take Viagra just to make it to second base?

And the man is, like, totally retarded? But he has a gift, or something, that only his sister Diane Lane can recognize? And she’s dating a scientist played by Gerard Butler who wants to cut out his brain for being, like, too retarded?

And because it’s a retard movie, the title of the movie is shown in crayon font, right, with some letters backwards? Because that’s how retards write?

And the title of the movie is

K is for Keith

With the K’s backwards? Like retarded?

So that’s what I think about Keith Olbermann’s very special comments — they’re like incredibly long, incredibly boring trailers for a low-budget movie about a demented retard in his mid-fifties who sets up a pretend tv studio in his mother’s basement and does a “TV show” every night interviewing puppets and his pet mice Hugo and Hubert, while Gerald Butler wants to cut out and examine his brain because it’s the Most Perfectly Retarded Brain Specimen in world history and his theory (for which he won the Nobel Prize) is that only a perfect retard-brain is the key to world peace and Diane Lane is his devoted sister trying to get a court order from Queen Latifah to stop him from seizing the brain but somehow they fall in love in a quickie montage set to September by Earth Wind & Fire and so Gerald Butler stops trying to steal Keef’s moron-brain and they become friends and at the end of the movie Gerald Butler teaches Keef how to shoot basketballs and it’s touching and funny but mostly funny because he’s a f*cking retard and keeps hitting himself in the face with the f*cking ball like a f*cking imbecile.

And then like, last shot, he’s dancing in the middle of the street in the rain, turning in slow motion, holding a sparkler laughing with retard joy as September hits the chorus and we say the title again:

K… is for Keith

and then of course, the internet site for promotional material:

kisforkeithmovie.com

Oh, There’s More: rdbrewer asked, “Does he have retard vision? Some special insight that makes the lives of normal people better?”

I haven’t worked it all out, but I think like, Gerald Butler is wrong, he doesn’t need the retard-brain for world peace, he just needs the retard to give a speech at the UN where he’s all like “I like peanut butter… we all like peanut butter… no more war” and then like, everyone’s like, “F*ck, that fat f*ckin’ retard makes a lot of f*ckin’ sense.”

I think I forgot that part, the part at the UN. So imagine, near the end, he’s at the UN, eating peanut butter with his hand out of a jar, exhaling through his nostrils, and there’s like a cameo appearance by Dan Rather to say “Breaking newsss… a retard speaksss at the United Nationsss…” and we’re all like so impressed to see a wannabe-celebrity news-pr*ck do a cameo in a movie we’re all like “ooooooh, Dan Rather, I guess this sh*t has the texture of reality to it,” despite the fact that Dan Rather’s in “news broadcasting business” as much as I f*ckin’ am.

Posted by Ace

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Context and set-up at the link.

I and others agree, Ace is a gifted writer/mocker.

Rush Limbaugh on: Michelle Obama’s Spain vs Nancy Reagan’s China

August 11, 10

Via Gateway Pundit, excerpts from Rush Limbaugh:

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The Obamas Party Like Royalty as the Country Boils Over in Disgust
August 6, 2010

He’s jetting all over the place, his wife is jetting all over the place, ordering special food and special clothes, vacationing every other week. Four vacations in July alone! See, Obama and his wife don’t understand what everyone is complaining about. They have never had it so good. They don’t want for anything. They don’t even pay for anything. In fact, they look at it as though they are owed this.

The ruling class is having a big party, partying like never before. The Obamas are living it up. Concerts at the White House, top chefs cooking for them, flying in from all over the country.

Michelle has a beach close down in Spain after taking 40 of her best friends and leasing 60 rooms in a five-star hotel, paid for by you, because they deserve it. But you have to pay. You have to pay up.

The point is they are living a lifestyle they have not earned, and they are living it off the taxpayers while criticizing the very system that enables them to live this way: $100 Kobe beef as appetizers at White House parties? The American people do not like this kind of arrogance. The American people do not like this kind of craziness.

Now, I don’t know. You probably haven’t heard about this. In the latest Carville-Greenberg poll by James Carville, Stan Greenberg (Democracy Corps is the name of their company), they say that disapproval rates for Obama are now at “revolution levels.” The only question is, are they talking about the American Revolution or the French Revolution. We have Michelle Antoinette Obama running around Spain. King Louie Obama the Second is here. It could be both. Revolution levels.

CALLER: Yeah, hi. Please do me a favor. If you have to hold me over, I have something extremely important to tell you. If you remember right, back in the ’80s when Ronald Reagan was president, Mrs. Reagan changed the china in the White House, and the liberal establishment went wild. They said that she was a spendthrift and she was this and she was that. Yet Barack Obama’s wife goes to Spain with an entourage of about 40 or 50 people, I don’t know what it is.

RUSH: Sixty.

RUSH: It’s 40 rooms.

CALLER: She goes to a hotel and it costs $6,000 a night.

RUSH: No, no. Maybe her room does. The average price is $2,500 a night.

CALLER: So $2,500 a night. And you know, I mean, when Mrs. Reagan changed the china, the liberal establishment went wild.

CALLER: I am so upset with this administration. Here people are dying so far as unemployment is concerned, and people go to Spain and spend $2,500 a night? What is going on with this country?

RUSH: Basically what you are asking is: Why isn’t there any outrage similar to the outrage in the media over Nancy Reagan changing the china? Why is there no outage over Michelle (My Belle) Obama with all these expenditures? She has 60 secret service people, by the way, on this trip to Spain. The answer is patently obvious. I guess you’re also asking: Why is there so much anger over the fact that I have earned what I have? It’s as simple as conservative versus liberal. It’s no more complicated than that, and as far as the media is concerned, Mrs. Obama deserves this.

RUSH: Now, we had a caller moments ago upset that the media is giving Michelle (My Belle) Obama a pass and they really ripped into Nancy Reagan. Not true. Last night on the CBS Evening News they covered it. Here is a montage of Sharyl Attkisson, the investigative reporter on Michelle Obama trip to Spain.

ATTKISSON: A posh hotel where rooms normally run from $300 to $6,000 a night. The First Lady’s group is said to occupy 60 rooms. Purely personal parts will be paid for by Mrs. Obama and friends. Official portions — the First Lady will visit the king and queen — will be on the taxpayer’s dime. That includes transport on the Air Force version of a 757: $146,000 for the round trip, not counting four to five days’ ground time. Expenses for Mrs. Obama’s support staff and the mandatory Secret Service detail which could number 70 agents, at the $273-a-day federal per diem, that’s $95,000 just for Secret Service room and board. One newspaper called Mrs. Obama “Marie Antoinette.”

RUSH: That was the New York Daily News. At least Sharyl Attkisson covered it. I don’t know for how long she will be at CBS, but she did do a report on Katie Couric’s CBS Evening News about the actual expenses. Now, since somebody brings up Nancy Reagan and the china, as is the case almost all the time this is unreported, misunderstood, misreported. State dinners had become so large by the time of the Reagan presidency that none of the china could accommodate the number of guests that they could put in the State Dining Room. So Nancy Reagan, she did, she ordered over 4,700 pieces of Lenox China which was enough place settings of 19 pieces for 220 people, which is what they can squeeze into the State Dining Room.

They just didn’t have the numbers to replace the old. So she went out and bought new china. She bought American. Michelle (My Belle) Obama is over in Spain. Michelle (My Belle) Obama is not stimulating American economy at all. So we can say here, Nancy Reagan turned to an American company and had them create and sell some White House China that probably cost less than one night of all of Michelle’s guests in that hotel in Spain.

They are a genuine aristocracy. They are no more representatives of the “working people” of America than anybody else is.

Now, the UK press is a different store. The UK Daily Mail is just one example. They are ripping Obama to shreds in the UK. “Spanish Police Close Public Beach for Michelle Obama’s £250,000 Spanish Holiday.” That is $375,000, and it’s being paid for by us. Michelle Obama today faced a fresh wave of attacks over her lavish break in Spain with 40 friends, which could easily cost U.S. taxpayers a staggering [$65,000] a day, and don’t misunderstand. She is not representing America. She is going to see the king and queen, much like a businessman would go a have a meeting to deduct a whole trip.

This is a vacation. You don’t take 40 friends with you on an official trip. She is on vacation, and we’re paying for it. The UK press is all over it. They have pictures. This UK Daily Mail story (you can see it at Drudge) prints out to 12 pages. It’s huge, with all kinds of pictures of the beach that has been cordoned off — and Michelle’s car van of SUVs that she moves around, and pictures of the hotel. So the UK press, they are laying it on thick. And by the way, one thing I need to mention about the Reagan china: Taxpayers did not pay for it. US taxpayers did not pay for the china that Nancy Reagan bought. It was a gift to the White House Foundation by California friends of the Reagans. I kid you not. It was not paid for by the taxpayers.

END TRANSCRIPT

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Above from Moonbattery.

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Compare to the very similar China-derangement tossed at Laura Bush.

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AoSHQ mocks:

So why did Mrs. Obama go to Spain at this time? She’s not tone-deaf politically. What was behind the “mother-daughter” vacation?

A White House source told me that Blanchard’s father passed away and Mrs. Obama was not able to make the funeral at the beginning of July. Blanchard had promised her daughter she would take her to Spain for her birthday. She asked Mrs. Obama and Sasha to come with. (Malia is at overnight camp.)

“She felt it was important as a dear friend to do this,” I was told.

Top Ten Activities To Honor Friend’s Departed Father At Michelle Obama’s Five-Star Funeral Jam

10. Barbecued shrimp slightly al dente out of respect for the dead

9. When snorkeling, bereavers hold their heads upside-down so brilliantly-colored coral fish appear to be wearing sad face frowns instead of happy face smiles

8. Commemorative Jet-Skiing

7. Morning’s mani-pedi group outing begun by reading of appropriate Psalm, and then reading of a random cartoon from Marmaduke: The Classics, because you can’t start your day off too heavy on the Spanish Riviera

6. Extreme zip-line excursion reminds everyone that life is fleeting

5. Resort’s specialty drink? The “Mortal Coil Monsoon”

4. Waiters and bartenders only tipped 7% to remind them that there are things more important than money

3. Bereavement Para-sailing

2. Booze Cruise’s Martini-and-crossed-swords flag lowered to half mast

And the number one activity to honor the dead at Michelle Obama’s five-star funeral jam…

1. Moment of silence strictly observed after each Bama Slamma shot

Bonus! Number 0.

0. Every day after the spa, Michelle flexes her biceps and announces she’s giving Father Blanchard a “two-gun salute”

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See how mournful she looks.

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Via AoSHQ and Moonbattery via Gateway Pundit, Taiwan’s take on it:

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On a tip from wits0, her popularity had already dropped 14 points and is just slight better than her husbands’!

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To all you racist haters (including those in just in time no-longer-racist SpainLeave Michelle Obama alone! Don’t you people have any decency???????

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Via Gateway Pundit, by Michale Ramirez:

From Diversity Lane:

August 1941 – Who goes Nazi?

August 4, 10

An interesting read, seems to be qute insightful.

The only excerpt I’ll give is from the end:

Those who haven’t anything in them to tell them what they like and what they don’t-whether it is breeding, or happiness, or wisdom, or a code, however old-fashioned or however modern, go Nazi.

And AoSHQ says:

If I were to play the game today, I’d be willing to wager that a good many of the current political class in Washington would go Nazi (some actively and some passively) and sadly that includes some GOP-types. And no doubt Spencer Ackerman and many on Journolist would jump on the bandwagon – although based on some the emails it seems they’re not even waiting for actual Nazis to show up before they start bashing in skulls, rhetorically speaking of course.

I would also be willing to bet that anyone with real religious faith would have a much easier time ignoring the siren call of the Nazi cause.

The Words of the Teleprompter Messiah

July 21, 10

“So the other day I was attending a funeral for this fallen corpse-man, a Mr. OAR-ee-on – one of the unbroken line of fallen heroes – and I see many of them in the audience here today.”

“Although they cling do to guns and religion – this funeral is chock full of that! – it’s just because they’re bitter over the price of arugula… Uh, hold on, uh, uh, I can’t hear myself think here.”

“Uh, carrying on… I was upset as he was an Arabic speaker and we need every one we can get for Afghanistan. But not as upset as that time when 10,000 people died from those Kabul tornados!”

“But back to the funeral… To those conspiracy theorists out there, I’m certain my attendance at this ceremony full of religion proves to them my Muslim faith. I mean, Christian faith.”

“So anyway, in order to make up for this loss, I’ve been looking into bringing in greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to the Marine Corpse. They will be as problem-free as the post office. Let me be absolutely clear, the Marines are a great friend to the Marines.”

“It was a tight schedule by the way, you ever tried visiting all 57 states? So now that we’re done, can I just eat my waffle? Islam invented waffles, you know.”

(By the way aren’t you glad we dodged that IDIOT Palin back in ’08?)

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How many did you catch without checking the linky references?

Guide sources: here, here, here and here.

Teleprompter fun right here.

UPDATE: Palin herself uses the same tactic!

See also Every Obama Speech in One Paragraph via AoSHQ.

Ace of Spades HQ on Why the Left Hates Conservative Media

May 8, 10

From Ace of Spades HQ:

So, all else being equal, it makes perfect sense for the 15-20% of our population that barely knows anything at all to politics to stick to the safe harbor of the default script.

This is the MFM’s greatest achievement — that for this 15-20% of the population that has no serious, structure political beliefs at all, an adherence to the general basics of liberalism is the default setting. All ties go to the liberals, in other words, and that’s big thing, isn’t it?

And that is why I fluctuate between treating the Democratic Party and the MFM as our top opponents in politics. Yes, it’s the Democratic Party on the ballot every two years.

But, as Andrew Breitbart rages in his stump speech [here], it’s actually the MFM which props the Democratic Party up by delivering unto them 15-20% of the public they never had to convince or fight for. 15-20% of the vote is delivered to the liberal camp every election simply because the media has established that’s the way nice people who just want what’s good — and want the least hassle over politics — vote.

And I think a fair number of partisan liberals understand this (far more than would be willing to admit it) and that accounts for their rage at FoxNews and Rush Limbaugh and any other contrary voice. If the Democrats’ advantage among soft-liberal apathetics declined to 15-20% to 10% or 5% or (God Forbid!) no advantage at all, they could start seriously losing elections.

Makes sense to me!

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Ann Coulter’s Most Piercing and Snarky Quotes of 2010 onwards

April 16, 10

Inspired by Right Wing News’ The Best Quotations From Ann Coulter’s 2009 Columns (62 Quotes), I’ve backtracked and begun collecting my favourite, snarkiest, most sarcastic quotes from Ann Coulter’s 2010 columns, interviews and whatnot onwards (with links to the archives included!) and other incidences.

And yes, she’s Ann Coulter. But does that mean that everything she says is incorrect and unfactual?

This list will continue to be updated throughout 2010, and occasionally bumped to the front page.

Enjoy or have a conniption, whichever works for you!

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(more…)

Anything Goes – Modern Moonbats Version

March 9, 10

Anything Goes was a classic Depression-era song, composed during a time when everything seemed topsy-turvy and upside-down.

Yes, Fallout 3 is to blame for giving me this ear worm.

Anyway, the original lyrics were full of references to then-contemporary happenings of the time, including the President back then FDR (who basically turned a recession into the Great Depression with his New Deal).

Today, liberals have made things even more turned-180-degrees-around, and we have a President who is trying to implement a New New Deal. So what better time to release an updated version of that classic song, complete with helpful and informative links?

To the tune of the original…

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Anything Goes – Modern Moonbats Version

Times have changed
And we’ve sadly rewound the clock
Since the Donkeys got quite a shock
When ol’ Ronald knocked off their blocks

For today
It seems that we will never learn
For we’re seeing a startling turn
Jimmy Carter’s second term

When Barack H. reaps record deficits
Then chides us all for spending it
Then we know
Anything goes!

When he and Joe, Iraq wanted to quit
But now take credit for saving it
Then it shows
Anything goes!

And Harry gloats today
Don’t need no votes today
Congress is nuts today
Tax hikes are cuts‘ today
And that failed bank today
We bailed out yesterday
Still billions owes

When lib’rals kill their unborn babies
But want to free all of those crazies
On death row
Anything goes!

When insulting Beck is journalism
While Tea Parties are all just racism
Olbie knows
Anything goes!

If U.N. pols fear global warming
When outside a blizzard is storming
And Gore’s froze-d
Anything goes!

We won’t drill for oil
While China takes our spoils
Carbon pollution less
The UN’s looting us
Pachauri‘s still in charge
Though glaciers still loom large
And Climategates grow

When both the Russians and the Chinese,
Can chide us for being too communist
Then they know
Anything goes!

If schools teach kids cruising and fisting
But prayer is non-existing
Then Jennings knows
Anything goes!

When airport types won’t quiz young Muslim men
But search nuns octogenerian
Then we know
Anything goes!

Cheney can take a hike
Though terror acts have spiked
The border’s open wide
The CIA’s un-spied
Iran is nuclear now
While our President bows
And kowtows to despots

The USA is on the precipice
Of being forever socialist
‘Cause Democrats know
Anything goes!

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If anyone can assist in putting this to song/video in TNOYF style, do lend a hand!

See also another cover song, Tears in Heaven – Atheist Despair Version.

Why Does Arrogant 21st-Century Man Think UFOs are Technological?

September 5, 09

“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”Arthur C. Clarke

Oh, how full of hubris and self-praising is modern man! How arrogantly yet foolishly does he assume that he knows everything there is to know about everything!

Is this not the same mistake the ancients throughout the ages made? Those ignorant, uncultured barbarians who – knowing nothing of the wonders of science, yet thinking they already knew all in the universe – attributed all unusual phenomena to magic or the works of the gods?

Yet modern man is different – because this time, he really does know all in the universe!

For example, he knows that when the Bible tells of how Elijah was taken up into heaven by a chariot and horses of fire, the ancients who witnessed the scene did not comprehend the possibility of alien abduction by a UFO. But today, we know better!

Or… do we?

Who are we to assume that now, after a mere century or two of the scientific method, we have understood all there is to understand about anything?

Who are we to assume that when something mysterious and amazing happens, there must be a rational, scientific explanation for it?

Is everything science? Is everything technology?

You say yes. But did not ancient man say: Everything is magic? Everything is miracle?

More to the point, who are we to say – out of our limited, mortal minds with mere decades of experience – that UFOs must be of a technological nature?

Did not the ancients make similar mis-assumptions in the past – that everything they could not explain, from lightning to magnetism, was caused by magic?

Would not an ancient stare in awe at an M1-Abrams tank assailing the enemy, and run back to his jungle tribe telling of the great ‘dragon’ spitting ‘fire’ – the only thing he comprehends from his backwater culture that even remotely resembles what he just witnessed?

So who is modern, 21st-century man to assume he is correct in believing that UFOs are made of metals and energy sources and alien intelligence? Who is he to assume that he can one day discover and duplicate this ‘advanced science’ – since science the only thing his fragile and limited mind can interpret that even remotely resembles what he is accustomed to in his own ‘enlightened’ culture?

Is it not likely that, just as ancient man was wrong to assume everything unknown and wonderful was magic, it is wrong for modern man to assume that everything unexplained and puzzling is science?

It has been said before that if God were to appear in all His glory and power amidst flame and lightning, telling the unbelieving world “I AM HERE AND I AM REAL!” while simultaneously healing every known disease in every person… The skeptics would still dismiss it as a mass hallucination, intense psychosomatic influence, some massive government conspiracy – or yes, aliens – anything but the possibility that the supernatural does exist.

Thus, if modern man can be wrong to think that science is all there is to UFOs… Can he not be wrong to think that science is all there is to God as well, i.e. that God does not exist simply because science cannot prove Him?

Ponder that.

A Story About a Dog.

January 13, 09

Once upon a time, there was a dog. I disliked the dog very much. So I decided that it should die. But, I did not want to be arrested for animal cruelty.

So, I threw rocks at the dog. It didn’t budge.

I taunted it and spat at it. It didn’t budge.

I sprayed it with a hose. It didn’t budge.

I actually went up to it and kicked it, hard! It didn’t budge.

I pulled its puppies tails. It didn’t budge.

I lit firecrackers and threw them at it to explode. It didn’t budge.

I lit firecrackers, tied them to kittens and threw the kittens at it to explode. It didn’t budge.

I would not give up so easily. I kept on doing these things to the dog.

Finally, after 18 months of provoking it every day, the dog finally tried to bite me in retalitation!

I was prepared for this: I pushed my baby brother into the dog’s jaws to protect myself. My baby brother cried out in pain, and I cried “The dog is a murderer!!! Oppression, cruelty, brutality!!! War crime against humanity!!! Holocaust!!!” (and I stepped on another of its puppies for good measure while doing so).

The next day, the authorities came and took the dog away to be put to sleep.

I am truly glad that dog is gone! I can’t even remember its name today, but I think it started with an ‘I’ or maybe a ‘J’ or a ‘Z’.

Moonbat Lightbulb Jokes

January 13, 09

Lolololol! My picks from the article (best in bold) and comments at the full list at The Peoples Cube and the extension at Free Republic:

Q: How many Obama voters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Hoping that it would change is quite enough.

Q: How many autoworkers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: 17 at GM, Ford and Chrysler; 1 at Honda, Hyundai and Toyota.

Q: How many Chicago pols does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: F— you, what am I gettin’ outta this?

Q: How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It’s burnt out on the Republican side, so we’re not changing it.

Q: How many MSM journalists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: No need, Obama is the Light.

Q: How many Congresspersons does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, but they’ll allocate a few billion to achieve change under the Obama Stimulus Bill.

Q: How many Daily Kos bloggers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: It was Bush’s fault the bulb burned out; it’ll get fixed by itself when he leaves office.

Q: How many Minnesota Canvassing Board members does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Depends. They’ll only change it if it looks like a vote for Coleman.

Q: How many Cubans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: There have been no lightbulbs since the USSR collapsed.

Q: How many North Koreans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: What’s a lightbulb?

Q: How many Hollywood celebrities does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Six to make movies about evil lightbulb companies, twelve to lecture about the unequal distribution of light on late night talk shows and nine to get caught with drugs hidden in cartons of lightbulbs.

Q: How many Obama appointees does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: His team is currently in the process of finding someone from the Clinton Administration who knows how.

Q: How many Caroline Kennedys does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: She’s never thought about it but now that you mention it, she’d love for someone to change it for her.

Q: How many President Elect Obamas does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: The bulb is a lot more burnt out than we thought. Clearly, the bulb has deteriorated. It might not be changed as quickly as we would like.

Why change the light bulbs? The burnt out ones will work as well as new ones do when Comrade Obama shuts down the evil fossil fuel greenhouse gassing and nuclear glow-in-the-dark mutation making power plants.

Q: How many Kennedys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to hold the light bulb and two to drink until the room spins around.

Q: How many union electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Five… you gotta problem with that, buddy?

Q: How many gun control advocates does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they just pass a law against burnt out bulbs and then walk away wondering how come its still dark.

Q: How many President Elect Obamas does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None…it’s above his pay grade.

Q: How many progressives does it to take to change a lightbulb?
A: Why would you change it when you can ban it?

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to change a progressive?
A: None. Some things will never see the light no matter how brightly it shines.

Q: How many Caroline Kennedys does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: She’s never, you know, thought about it but, you know, now that you, you know, mention it, you know, she’d love for someone to, you know, change it for her, you know.

Q: How many Obama voters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Excuse me. Light bulbs are just another part of the soulless industrial society we should be moving away from in our mission to save Mother earth from warming. Obama’s brother doesn’t need no stinking light bulb and neither should we.

Q: How many Leon Panettas does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Oh, crap, ANOTHER job he’s not qualified for!

Q: How many Al Gores does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, and it means another Oscar and Nobel Prize on the horizon for him.

Q: How many Gazans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: There are no lightbulbs in Gaza because Hamas uses them as weapons.

See also my own original Moonbat Jokes.


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