I received a forwarded e-mail from my mum. It’s claimed to be a talk Bill Gates gave at a high school entitled ’11 Things They Did Not and Will Not Learn in School’.
Of course, this being teh Internets and all, it wasn’t actually by Bill Gates, but by Charles J. Sykes who included his original version in the book Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good about Themselves, but Can’t Read, Write, or Add.
The actual complete list of 14 can be found at Snopes, which has the full-length versions of the first 10 as well.
But I’ve noticed that Moonbats generally do not follow these rules of life. Take a gander and compare:
Rule 1: Life is not fair — get used to it!
- Lesson for: Supporters of welfare parasitism and socialized anything. You don’t work hard, expect hard-workers to pay for your lifestyle, and still whine that life isn’t fair? The heck it isn’t, and you’re to blame!
Rule 2: The world won’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
- Lesson for: Fuzzy maths proponents who aren’t concerned that their future accountants can’t add or future engineers build self-imploding bridges, so long as their tender self-esteem isn’t challenged.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
- Lesson for: Commies, socialists, parasites, race-mongers. You do a thesis on how the white capitalist bourgeois oppresses the coloured masses, and expect that your nonexistant practical experience will be an advantage in finding a job? See also Rule 5.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
- Lesson for: Supporters of no scolding, no caning, no discipline, no reality check, no practical lessons learnt schooling.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping — they called it opportunity.
- Lesson for: Related to Rule 3, lesson in a one-liner joke: “Hi, I’m a 30-year old with a PhD in Social Studies and wrote a thesis on how the capitalist system is inferior to socialism! Would you like fries with that?”
Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you’ll end up working for one.
- Lesson for: Leftist-indoctrinated college grads who will find out that – surprise! – the Soviet Union collapsed to its own socialism two decades ago and free market capitalists run the world now (Obama-Hillary ’08 notwithstanding).
Rule 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic.
- Lesson for: Smoking is passe. So the lesson here is for teenagers who think underage sex, teenage pregnancy, dropping out of school and raising a child as an unemployed single mother at age 16 are cool.
Rule 13: You are not immortal.
Lesson for: Dhimmicrat jihadi-appeasers who somehow convince themselves that surrendering to terrorists will encourage them to stop killing infidels such as Moonbats (heck, especially pro-homosexuality, pro-feminism, atheist Moonbats!).
Rule 14: Enjoy this while you can. Someday you’ll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid.
Lesson for: Moonbats who, finally realizing how pampered and sheltered they were as children, go back to behaving like children regardless of age and responsibilities.