The Obamessiah (130+ Adulations)

When Godless liberals knoweth not the Lord Jesus Christ, Barack Obama is becometh their New Liberal Messiah…

(Via Ace of Spades HQ, an article detailing the new liberal pseudo-religion of Obama worship.)

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Most of the following are from Is Barack Obama the Messiah? and Moonbattery. A nice roundup video can be found here.

1) From the Associated Press:

2) From Obama supporters:

Plans are being made to promote a national holiday for Barack Obama, who will become the nation’s 44th president when he takes the oath of office Jan. 20.

“Yes We Can” planning rallies will be at 7 a.m. and 7 p.m. every Tuesday at the downtown McDonald’s restaurant, 1100 Kansas Ave., until Jan. 13. The goals are to secure a national holiday in Obama’s honor, to organize celebrations around his inauguration and to celebrate the 200th birthday of President Abraham Lincoln, who was born on Feb. 12 1809.

Plans, however, are suffering from a lack of support… They got kicked out of the McDonalds they always meet at.

3) From the official Obama website:

4) From Time.com:

Some princes are born in palaces. Some are born in mangers. But a few are born in the imagination, out of scraps of history and hope.

5) From designer Ray Noland:

What Kind of Christian is Obama?

UPDATE DECEMBER 2013: Obamacare massively penalizes married couples strongly encouraging non-marriage and even divorce!

UPDATE NOVEMBER 2012: With the election almost on him, can you believe Obama really tries to pull this off?

UPDATE AUGUST 2010: Thanks in no small part to the following reasons I list, 14% fewer people believe Obama is Christian since he took office.

Rather than being all smear attackey and ask “Is Obama Really a Christian?”, let’s assume that he considers himself one.

(So for the purposes of this post, please ignore his “My Muslim faith” slip up, studying the Koran and reciting the azan, and his Muslim roots and being considered by Muslims as one of them.)

With that in mind, exactly what kind of Christian is Obama?

Directs his Christmas message and accompanying card, “It’s a message both timeless and universal — no matter what God you pray to, or if you pray to none at all.”

For 20 years attended a church that follows the skewed Black Liberation Theology (“If God is not for us and against white people, then he is a murderer, and we had better kill him.”) See here for Ann Coulter’s take on that.

For 20 years listened to the preaching of a reverend who is known for shouting “God d*mn America!”.

Adheres to his own nuanced interpretation of Old Testament laws the Sermon on the Mount. (Video embedded at this post.)

Via Dan Mitchell:

Uses the Prayer Breakfast to espouse that Jesus would tax.

Equates ISIS brutality to the Crusades – which as any REAL student of history knows were a 4 centuries delayed response to massive Islamic attacks.

Skipped the National Day of Prayer, but gives a 5 minutes Ramadan greeting.

Gave statements marking Ramadan, Eid-ul-Fitr, the Hajj, and Eid-ul-Adha, even Nowruz… But skipped the Easter statement for 2011. It is claimed this was because he was busy attending an Easter sermon, which he did – and left 30 minutes early. Par for the course, his Easter 2010 message was aimed at all faiths, not Christians.

Omitted any mention of God from his thanksgiving message. For the fourth year in a row, does not thank God in his message.

An order comes down form Washington D.C. to cover and reject all things associated with Christianity at Veterans Association hospitals.

Via The Right Reasons (tipped by wits0):

Places Islam and secularity above Christianity, and gives a strange sharing about Abraham and Isaac.

Originally did not want a Nativity scene at the White House for Christmas. Whole family skipped Christmas services.

At a memorial service for the victims of the Tucson shooting (which was raucous, party-like and not at all solemn), authorized a Native American ritual (when not one of the victims was Native American) but made no reference to the Christian God at all.

In 2012 refused a cardinal’s offer to pray at DNC yet accepted a radical imam at the same event.

DNC 2012 removed all mentions on God, then got booed and voted down 3 times when attempted to put mentions back in.

Considers babies a ‘punishment’ and supports all forms of abortion, i.e. the murder of human babies who already have souls (Job 31:15, Psa 22:10, Psa 139:13, Isa 44:2, Isa 49:5, Jer 1:5). For this murderous stance, he is blasted by the Catholic church. His running mate, Joe Biden agrees that life begins at conception.

Supports homosexuality in direct opposition to/ignorance of what the Bible, Jesus and God say.

Passed education legislature to teach comprehensive sex education to kindergarteners.

Equates himself to Moses or the Messiah (leads to video).

Three times left out the phrase ‘endowed by their Creator’.

Tells us to be our brother’s keeper, but does not help his own poor family.

Carries a statue of Hanuman, the Hindu monkey god, in his pocket.

Has skipped church since winning the November 2008 Election.

Finally got to church after more than 2 years.

Allowed all mention of God to be removed from the DNC 2012 platform – where he is seeking reelection.

While speaking in Turkey, revealed that he does not consider America a Christian nation:

In fact, he has denied that the USA – the nation with the highest population of Christians in the world – is at all a Christian nation three times, while claiming that it could be considered one of the largest Muslim nations.

Will skip the National Day of Prayer.

Yet, takes off his shoes to join Muslim prayers at the White House.

And what about his supporters, who:

View him as the new liberal Messiah, and even more overtly compare him to Jesus or the second coming of Jesus (complete with liberal Bible illiteracy – DUH, blind people cannot SEE anything!). Or alternatively, to Lucifer – ‘Light Bringer’.

Above illustration from Diversity Lane.

Sue Christian publishers because the Bible versions they publish refer to homosexuality as a sin.

Want to add new chapters to the Bible to commemorate Obama, in direct opposition to what Revelation 22:18-19 warns.

Above from Moonbattery.

It is perverse that Obama feels compelled to lecture the West about not getting too judgmental on our “high horse” over radical Islam’s medieval barbarism in 2015 because of Christianity’s medieval barbarism in 1215. It’s also insipidly hypocritical. President Obama can’t bring himself to call the Islamic State “Islamic,” but he’s happy to offer a sermon about Christianity’s alleged crimes at the beginning of the last millennium.

– Jonah Goldberg

Barack Obama Facts

Conservatives have long had their hardcore he-man Chuck Norris Facts.

Now worshippers of the Liberal Obamessiah can rejoice, for they have their own limp-wristed, socialist pandering, world-kumbayaing Barack Obama facts:

Every now and then, Obama opens his eyes and the world springs into existence.

When Obama squints dreamily into the distance, he can see next week’s lottery winning numbers. But he never plays because that would mean poverty of ambition.

Obama can calculate your guilt just by looking at the numbers in your checkbook.

A microphone into which Obama has spoken, heals asbestos-related disorders and colorectal cancer by direct application.

Every time Obama talks about change, a baby diaper becomes clean and a homeless person’s cup fills up with nickels.

Every time Obama talks about “hope,” coma patients regain consciousness and chant “We are the ones we’ve been waiting for.”

Obama is 50% typical White person.

Obama always overpays his taxes because he believes that the government will find a better use for his money than he ever could.

When Obama rids the world of nuclear weapons, the red button in his office will control the thermostats in American homes.

Obama brings change to the world every time he closes his eyes and imagines that Twin Towers never existed.

Obama’s wife is a Klingon.

Obama’s children are named Child 1 and Child 2 respectively.

Our universe is held together by the force of Michelle Obama’s benevolent willpower, but her patience is running thin.

Michelle Obama has saved humanity from destruction many times and is slightly annoyed that we haven’t returned the favor.

Everything Obama touches begins to vote Democrat.

More dead people voted for Obama than for any other Democrat candidate in the history of Chicago politics.

US Mail Service published Obama’s resume on a new first class stamp.

Obama can inflate a hot air balloon in one blow. He does it for the children.

When Obama fixes his gaze on the clouds, he is reading his next great line from the big teleprompter in the sky, which is unseen to ordinary humans.

Obama’s love for the downtrodden heats up the planet’s atmosphere by 5.8 degrees Fahrenheit, while his loathing of George W. Bush cools it down by the same amount. That’s why the scientists have been unable to detect any significant variations in average global temperatures.

The main point of Al Gore’s book “Earth in the Balance” is that a disastrous climate change can be averted if we all help keep Obama emotionally balanced.

Obama visited Benjamin Franklin in a dream and told him how to live his life serving the community, but all that Franklin could remember was, how to fly a kite.

Scientists discovered that a constant repetition of the words “hope” and “change” increases the size of penis in male patients by up to three inches.

Any sentence containing the name “Obama” and ending in a question mark has been determined to be racist. The only exceptions are rhetorical sentences such as “Is there any way that Obama could be more perfect?”

Obama’s cigarettes have been registered at the EPA as a renewable power source contributing 5,000 Megawatts of electricity to the national power grid every time he takes a draw.

The “smoke” that comes out of Obama’s mouth contains rare gases that help replenish the ozone layer and neutralize the industrial pollution.

Obama once downed a Fox News satellite simply by clicking on a universal TV remote in his living room. Obama then reprogrammed the remaining satellites to broadcast reruns of Keith Olbermann’s show, thus expanding the consciousness of the average American TV viewer and raising awareness by 19%.

When Obama speaks about universal healthcare, the risk of cardiovascular diseases decreases by 58 percent, and the risk of cancer decreases by 60 percent.

Obama knows that his healthcare plan is going to work because he personally tested it in a leper colony, where he healed everyone by shaking hands and kissing babies.

In Portland, Oregon, Obama fed a multitude of 75 thousand with five government subsidy forms and two rolls of red tape.

An unkind word about Obama’s family serves as a passkey to the hottest rings of Hell.

When Obama smiles, somewhere in America a door opens to an abortion clinic.

When Obama claps his hands, a child is born in a Third World country.

When Obama stomps his foot, a sweatshop closes in Asia, with thousands of children in the streets demanding that the United States send them financial aid, food, and medicine.

When the people learn to vote themselves money from the public trough, Obama will appear.

It takes a wise man to use own words, but an even wiser man to use words spoken by others. And then there’s Obama.

Obama’s message of hope: when you reach rock bottom, start digging.

In second grade Obama developed a concrete plan to save the children. When George W. Bush heard about it, he killed the children and exiled Obama’s family to Hawaii because Bush hated the children.

George W. Bush deliberately added “Hussein” to Obama’s name on all official records, hoping that it would traumatize young Obama psychologically and stigmatize him for life.

When Obama gained control of the Good Forces of the Universe, George W. Bush locked him in a tower with an iron mask over his head to prevent a telepathic contact with the Force. But Bill Ayers received the signal, blew up Bush’s tower and liberated Obama.

Obama statues decorate all progressive capitals of the world. George W. Bush became jealous and stole one such statue, hoping to melt it and use the metal to make world’s strongest cannon to kill women and children. But Obama’s statue destroyed the furnace and made its way to freedom. Nobody knows where it is now, but the rumor is that it is fighting for the rights of the downtrodden all over the planet. Al Qaeda wants to capture the statue and turn it into an indestructible suicide bomber. If they ever succeed, it will be George W. Bush’s fault.

Bush can’t destroy the original Constitution because Obama’s handwriting is indestructible. That’s why Bush is hiding it in a lead container at the bottom of the Potomac River. If you find and open the container, all power in the land will at once return to the downtrodden.

When Obama buys caviar he always tries to get the one that is runny and tastes fishy, because that’s the kind of caviar that the downtrodden eat.

Biblical Obama

Jesus saw Obama on a tortilla

When Moses parted the sea, Obama was already on the other side

Obama cast the first, and only, stone

Jesus walked on Obama, Obama was swimming

Obama was using Jonah for fish bait

Obama dropped knowledge on the apple tree

And on the 8th day Obama finished the job

Obama was Solomon’s teacher

Obama was Chuck Norris’ sensei

Obama’s footprint was on the dirt Jesus spat onto

Obama supplied the baskets and vases for the sermon on the mount

Obama IS his brother’s keeper

Obama can bear his cross (related: The Obamessiah)

Man Sues Bible and the Apostle Paul, Man Sues the Holy Spirit, New Gospel of Obama to be Added to Bible

From World Net Daily via Moonbattery:

A homosexual man who has a blog on Sen. Barack Obama’s campaign website is suing two major Christian publishers for violating his constitutional rights and causing emotional pain, because the Bible versions they publish refer to homosexuality as a sin.

Bradley LaShawn Fowler, 39, of Canton, Mich., is seeking $60 million from Zondervan and another $10 million from Thomas Nelson Publishing in lawsuits filed in U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Michigan, the Grand Rapids Press reported.

Fowler filed his claim against Grand Rapids-based Zondervan Monday, alleging its Bibles’ references to homosexuality as a sin have made him an outcast from his family and contributed to physical discomfort and periods of “demoralization, chaos and bewilderment,” the paper said.

Zondervan says that even if Fowler’s claim is credible, he’s suing the wrong party. A company spokesman told WOOD-TV in Grand Rapids that Zondervan doesn’t translate the Bible or own the copyright for any of the translations but relies, instead, on the “scholarly judgment of credible translation committees.”

Fowler, who is representing himself in both lawsuits, says in his complaint against Zondervan that the publisher intended to design a religious, sacred document to reflect an individual opinion or a group’s conclusion to cause “me or anyone who is a homosexual to endure verbal abuse, discrimination, episodes of hate, and physical violence … including murder.”

Fowler alleges both Zondervan and Thomas Nelson, with its King James Bible, manipulated Scripture without informing the public by using the term “homosexuals” in a New Testament passage, 1 Corinthians 6:9.

He told the Grand Rapids TV station in an interview he wants to “compensate for the past 20 years of emotional duress and mental instability.”

Zondervan, he contended, is misinterpreting the Bible.

My own take on the subject at Bible Passages That Oppose Homosexuality – Including the Words of Jesus and God Himself.

And from Chicago Sun-Times, again via Moonbattery:

KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — A man says he was so consumed by the spirit of God that he fell and hit his head while worshipping.

Now he wants Lakewind Church to pay $2.5 million for medical bills, lost income, and pain and suffering.

He says he was asking God to have ‘‘a real experience’’ while praying.

Lincoln says he has fallen from the force of the spirit before but has always been caught by someone.

And some related older news for you, once more via Moonbattery:

Jesse Jackson Jr., Illinois Congressman and son of the famous racial extortionist, reacts to Barack O’Bigot getting the Democrat nomination:

I cried all night. I’m going to be crying for the next four years. What Barack Obama has accomplished is the single most extraordinary event that has occurred in the 232 years of the nation’s political history. … The event itself is so extraordinary that another chapter could be added to the Bible to chronicle its significance.

Ehh. Do compare what Revelation 22:18-19 in the actual Bible says.

And as for the Obamessiah‘s own attempt at Scriptural exegesis:

[Focus on the Family founder, Dr. James] Dobson took aim at examples Obama cited in asking which Biblical passages should guide public policy – chapters like Leviticus, which Obama said suggests slavery is OK and eating shellfish is an abomination, or Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, “a passage that is so radical that it’s doubtful that our own Defense Department would survive its application.”

“Folks haven’t been reading their Bibles,” Obama said.

Dobson and Minnery accused Obama of wrongly equating Old Testament texts and dietary codes that no longer apply to Jesus’ teachings in the New Testament.

“I think he’s deliberately distorting the traditional understanding of the Bible to fit his own worldview, his own confused theology,” Dobson said.

“… He is dragging biblical understanding through the gutter.”

And remember to give credit to Obama’s spiritual mentor of 20 years:

Hindu Monkey God Hanuman Endorses Obama

In brief:

NEW DELHI: Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama can now expect help from an unexpected quarter — Lord Hanuman.

All-India Congress Committee member Brij Mohan Bhama has organised a 11-day religious ceremony at Karol Bagh here for his success in the U.S. elections.

The idea of sending an idol of Hanuman dawned on him after friends in the United States mentioned a “prominent American politician who carried a miniature Hanuman idol in his pocket for luck,” Mr. Bhama said speaking on the first day of the ceremony on Tuesday.

The idol is being presented to Obama as he is reported to be a Lord Hanuman devotee and carries with him a locket of the monkey god along with other good luck charms.

Obama has carried a small gold statue of the Monkey King, revered in India because Hindus believe monkeys are descendants of the monkey god, Hanuman.

“Obama has deep faith in Lord Hanuman and that is why we are presenting an idol of Hanuman to him,” said Bhama.

Continue reading for insights into this latest divine appointment to the Presidency ’08.

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On a tip from wits0 and then hutchrun. Kudos to Gateway Pundit for the unexpectedly much linkage.

This exercise in ecumenism and One World Religion is also being carried by Obi’s Sister and Moonbattery.

Obama the New God looks to be usurping the old religions one by one…

From The Hindu:

11-day prayer for Obama’s success

Congress leader invokes blessings of Hanuman

15 kg, 21-inch brass idol will reach Obama by August 24

NEW DELHI: Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama can now expect help from an unexpected quarter — Lord Hanuman.

All-India Congress Committee member Brij Mohan Bhama has organised a 11-day religious ceremony at Karol Bagh here for his success in the U.S. elections.

The idea of sending an idol of Hanuman dawned on him after friends in the United States mentioned a “prominent American politician who carried a miniature Hanuman idol in his pocket for luck,” Mr. Bhama said speaking on the first day of the ceremony on Tuesday.

“After hearing that, I decided to gift Mr. Obama a larger, gold-plated version along with the wishes of thousands of his supporters in this country,” said the leader struggling to lift the 15 kg, 21-inch brass idol.

The first-day ceremony, pranapratishta, or infusion of divine life into an idol, was performed by a dozen priests reciting mantras in tandem. It was attended by Democrats Abroad India chairperson Carolyn Sauvage, who spent over an hour at the venue.

The idol was later kept in the sanctum sanctorum of the Sankat Mochan Dham, where it will be kept for 10 more days. Mr. Bhama said several temples in New Delhi had already expressed an interest in keeping the idol for worship on their premises before it begins its journey across the Atlantic.

Along with the idol, a copy of Hanuman Chalisa, a compilation of hymns in praise of the Lord, would be sent.

“We will ensure that Mr. Obama receives the idol by August 24, a day before the Democratic National Convention in Denver, Colorado,” said Mr. Bhama.

The ‘miniature Hanuman idol in his pocket’ remark refers to this:

From New York Post:

BARACK’S A ‘CHARMER’

WASHINGTON – Barack Obama trounced Hillary Rodham Clinton with the help of the Monkey King, an American eagle and a poker chip.

Obama, campaigning in New Mexico, revealed to a group of voters in a cafe the pocket full of charms that he carries with him.

He said he keeps a “lucky poker chip” given to him by a voter, and an American eagle pin that was given to him by a Native American woman, saying they remind him of the people he meets along the campaign trail.

Obama has also carried a small gold statue of the Monkey King, revered in India because Hindus believe monkeys are descendants of the monkey god, Hanuman.

And alerted by a trackback from Obi’s sister (who has more insights into Obama’s history religious flip-flopping), here’s more…

From The Times of India:

Obama to get Hanuman idol

NEW DELHI: With Democrat senator Barack Obama busy in the run-up to the US presidential polls, a group of well-wishers in the capital have decided to send him a symbol of his lucky charm, Lord Hanuman, to help him emerge victorious.

Obama’s representative Carolyn Sauvage-Mar on Tuesday received a gold-plated two-feet-high idol which she will pass it on to the Obama after it is sanctified.

The idol is being presented to Obama as he is reported to be a Lord Hanuman devotee and carries with him a locket of the monkey god along with other good luck charms.

An hour-long prayer meeting to sanctify the idol was earlier organised at Sankat Mochan Dham and by Congress leader Brijmohan Bhama, Balmiki Samaj and the temple’s priests.

“Obama has deep faith in Lord Hanuman and that is why we are presenting an idol of Hanuman to him,” said Bhama.

Accepting the souvenir, Sauvage-Mar, who is chairperson of Democrats Abroad-India, said, “Obama has extended his thanks for the support.”

However, questions on Obama’s religious beliefs elicited just a smile from Sauvage-Mar, apparently to avoid controversy back home where the Democrat senator is pitted against the Republican Party’s John McCain in the Presidential polls.

The idol will be kept at the temple for 11 more days and then sent to US.

“We will perform the prayers for 11 days and then hand the idol to Carolyn who will send it to Obama,” said the temple priest.

Note that in Hinduism, it is perfectly acceptable to believe in and call upon Jesus at the same time as Hanuman, as Hinduism believes that all religious paths lead to the same final destination.

With all due respect to the religious beliefs of followers of Hanuman…

Will this be decried as ‘racist’ by the Obamapostles? These previous incidences of linking Obama to monkeys sure were.

Not that Obama isn’t getting endorsements from all sorts of characters worldwide.

So the Obamessiah is currently an avowed Christian (or rather, a member of a church that adheres to racist theology/ideology and has a loony reverend), but grew up nominally Muslim and is looked up to by Muslims worldwide as one of their own, and now carries a Hindu idol in his pocket and has the blessings of Hindus.

Looked upon as the new Messiah who deserves new Biblical scriptures, uniting all religions into one mixed-up conglomerate, and declaring himself supportive of Israel but ready to kowtow to its enemies at the drop of a threat…

Anti-Christ anyone? (Messiah is Hebrew for Christ, which is Greek for ‘Anointed One’)

Obi’s Sister had a poignant insight:

…or he’s really crafty in that he’s collecting all these valuable gifts from around the world like Xerxes or Alexander or whatever ancient warrior king he thinks he’s channeling this week…

That got me thinking… As the future Antibama-Christ, he may be modeling his divine emperorship on previous rulers of the world, i.e. by being the agent of ALL gods from ALL religions:

I am Cyrus, king of the world, great king, legitimate king, king of Babylon, king of Sumer and Akkad, king of the four rims of the earth, son of Cambyses, great king, king of Anshan.

I strove for peace in Babylon and in all his other sacred cities. As to the inhabitants of Babylon… I abolished forced labour…

From Nineveh, Assur and Susa, Akkad, Eshnunna, Zamban, Me-Turnu and Der until the region of Gutium, I returned to these sacred cities on the other side of the Tigris, the sanctuaries of which have been ruins for a long time, the images which used to live therein and established for them permanent sanctuaries. I also gathered all their former inhabitants and returned to them their habitations.

– Cyrus the Great, conquerer of Babylon and benefactor to the multitude of religions of various conquered peoples

Legitimate king, eh? Cyrus resembles an ancient-age sounding board for Barack ‘The Presidency is Mine By Birthright of My Race and My Liberalness’ Obama.

Only difference is, Obama would rather Babylon (Iraq) go down in flames while he rushes the troops home, and strongly supports forced labor (aka socialism/communism/welfare taking away your money).

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UPDATE: On a tip from hutchrun, apparently multiple armed Hanuman is unusual for India.

Reverend Jeremiah Wright – Obama’s ‘God D**n America’ Pastor Editorial Cartoons

NUMBER OF CARTOONS: 85

LAST UPDATED: 20 June 2008

See also Barack Obama’s Bitter Remark Editorial Cartoons.

Kudos to Moonbattery and Sheik Yer’Mami for the linkage.

To his credit, Obama denounced Wright fully and in the face after the unhinged Reverend went on his latest ranting spree late April 2008.

Against his credit, Obama seems to have finally thrown his Pastor under the blacks-seating-only bus after 20 years because Wright’s looney remarks are seriously hurting the President Obama ’08 campaign.

Click link below the three sample cartoons for all cartoons at full size.