Knife Stabbing Shoplifter Injured by Angry A$$-Kicking Marines and Falling Down, but Mostly by Falling Down


Wahkakakakaka!

Assailant suffers injuries from fall

Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta, Georgia, told police he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket. When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.

Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the “Toys for Tots” program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of the Marines, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back; the injury did not appear to be severe.

After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene Cpl. Duggan was transported for treatment.

“The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw…injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb after stabbing the Marine,” according to a police report.

From The Jawa Report, text typed by Elite ’11 here.

And post title emulating AoSHQ’s tongue-in-cheek style (example and example).


22 Responses to “Knife Stabbing Shoplifter Injured by Angry A$$-Kicking Marines and Falling Down, but Mostly by Falling Down”

  1. Zack T Says:

    Are they sure he suffered all that from one fall off a curb? Haha

  2. Zack T Says:

    Must be Samuel L Jackson from Unbreakable…

  3. Ron Says:

    ZOMG!!! What happened to the laptop? Was it ok?

  4. hutchrun Says:

    Hei what! All he has to do is get the ACLU sue the Army.

  5. pat Says:

    @hutchrun: First off they are marines, and noone is suing anyone. the POS deserved everything he got, from falling off the curb.

  6. Steve Says:

    We NEED a lot more Curbs like that one.

  7. simonthongwh Says:

    Wish I knew how to be a ‘curb’, too.

  8. simonthongwh Says:

    What if shoplifter had met Hakka woman?
    Simon Thong Wee Hing
    The Qing soldiers called the Hakka women “Big foot
    hillbilly witches” because they fought side by side with the men and they
    never bind their feet to make them small like other Chinese women.
    Read about Hakka Women in http://simonthongwh.wordpress.com/2011/05/16/hakka-women/

  9. Be careful falling off the kerb ;) Says:

    [...] careful falling off the kerb ;) Knife Stabbing Shoplifter Injured by Angry A$$-Kicking Marines and Falling Down, but Mostly by Falli… John 04 450 EXC 08 990 ADV 04 R1 Reply With Quote + Reply to Thread [...]

  10. Curbs Says:

    [...] Sorry if this is a duplicate post. Knife Stabbing Shoplifter Injured by Angry A$$-Kicking Marines and Falling Down, but Mostly by Falli… Cheers Daren Sponsored by Quick UK Reply With [...]

  11. Phil Payne Says:

    Fiction. Never happened.

    See snopes.com – this story has been around since November 2010

    http://www.snopes.com/politics/military/stabbedmarine.asp

  12. Scott Thong Says:

    Aww…. But close enough hehe!

  13. Assailant suffers injuries from fall . - Ford Forums - Mustang Forum, Ford Trucks, Ford Focus and Ford Cars Says:

    [...] Assailant suffers injuries from fall . Dont know if this is true or not , but would hope it was . Knife Stabbing Shoplifter Injured by Angry A$$-Kicking Marines and Falling Down, but Mostly by Falli… [...]

  14. Woman claims Cain groped her - US Message Board - Political Discussion Forum Says:

    [...] claims Cain groped her Knife Stabbing Shoplifter Injured by Angry A$$-Kicking Marines and Falling Down, but Mostly by Falli… __________________ A democracy is nothing more than mob rule, where fifty-one percent of the [...]

  15. ekier Says:

    the marines obviously beat him up

  16. Scott Thong Says:

    Well duh, but it’s not funny at all when you put it straight out like that.

  17. Rick's Barber Shop Pittsburgh Says:

    Oh YEAH , its Real FUNNY that some PUNK , THUG wanna BE gets his ass kicked and kicked good , MAYBE , just MAYBE he learned his lesson ! Rick the Barber (RT MARINE 32 years )

  18. RBB Says:

    “Hei what! All he has to do is get the ACLU sue the Army.”

    They will be too busy with the case against the public school system, which is where you must have learned reading and comprehension.

    1) “four Marines collecting toys
    2) “Smith said the Marines stopped the man
    3) “he stabbed one of the Marines”
    4) “after stabbing the Marine”

    Since your education has failed you, hutchrun, I suggestion sharpening your situational awareness. The unarmed MARINE was stabbed in the back while standing by a pile of toys. Even if it could be proven that the guy with the knife was hit, I’m pretty sure the “Army” would suggest that the punch was in self defense.

  19. Scott Thong Says:

    Uh, I think hutchrun was being sarcastic and snarky, and using it as a ‘zing’ at the ACLU which is viewed as a left-leaning organization (and therefore anti-military).

    After all, it was founded by a Commie sympathizer.

  20. tyrone Says:

    Commie or not the ACLU is not in question…the question is: were to buy one of those curbs? Answer: Paris (mutha f-king) Island! OORAH!

  21. Dave Says:

    Hunran: you missed the point of this hilarious story.The marines obviously exacted justice ,then hilariously passed the blame on a lowly curb.Fricken made my day ! Good for you guys….Go Marines!!!

  22. Talib Muhammad Says:

    Everyone knows to watch the first step.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 119 other followers

%d bloggers like this: