Magikarp Splash Attack

A totally hilarious – in a lame-o kind of way – animation found at Newgrounds here. Contains mild expletives.

                                         EPIC BATTLE!!

                                I choose you – Magikarp!

                                 Magikarp, use Splash Attack!

                     Magikarp, hit him with a Splash Attack!

The flash animation consists of several segments strung together at random. After a while, you’re gonna see some repeats. But how many different segments are there?

If you’re not a Pokemon fan, you should still find the video funny in an idiotic way. But if you’ve ever played Pokemon much, you’ll likely have gotten your very own Magikarp and quickly discovered how utterly useless it is.

To put it bluntly, the only ability it starts with is Splash Attack which does… Nothing. Really, it doesn’t do anything – no damage, no effects. Oh, well. At least the dumb fish eventually evolves into the powerful Gyarados

In the anime too, Magikarp is a real dog. Can’t fight, can’t save you from drowning, can’t even swim! And in the Japanese anime it has a sound like a cross between gulping air and choking as it flops uselessly on its side, exactly like the googley-eyed fish on dry land it is. Ironically, it still makes the same can’t-breathe sound even while sinking into water.

You can see the moronic fish hear the English dubbed voice on youtube , which is suitably lame like the Magikarp it is, but not quite the same.

                                           *SPLASH*

Lolcats is teh WordPress Top Blog

Consistently among the top blogs of WordPress, I wondered what I Can Has Cheezburger? is all about and why it’s so popular. All the pics is from theres.

  

Cute things with silly, childish, cats-ish netspeek captions is why. With lots of Lolcat lollollollollolz. Read the References at bottom of the Wikipedia article to be more informdeded.

  

Cats is cute and teh sillierz! See my previous post at here too. Or if you just wants the cute kittenzr, go to Random Kitten Generator. Yayz!

CATS IS TEH MOST POPLAR BLOG TING!!!!11!!1!

WWE Wrestler Chris Benoit Kills Family and Commits Suicide

Oh no… Chris Benoit, why?

Benoit (pronounced ben-wah) was my favourite pro wrestler. He combined very impressive technical techniques (as opposed to the usual big-wrestler push and shove style) with suicidal moves such as jumping headfirst onto an opponenty’ head.

He wasn’t much of a microphone player like the Rock, but he really did wrestling right. His technical style played well against Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle’s own technical skills.

Full story on Wikipedia.

Goodbye, Chris Benoit – the cripplerest, technicalest, mising-toothiest WWE champion to never work the mic. It’s a pity you had to end it this way. May your soul find forgiveness and peace.

               

UPDATE 29 JUNE 2007: This is freaky. The Wikipedia entry on Chris Benoit mentioned that his wife had died 14 hours before police disovered the fact! CNN and Wikipedia. 

UPDATE 30 JUNE 2007: It was apparently added based on a rumour.

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Excerpts from Sports Illustrated.com:

– Pro wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife, suffocated his 7-year-old son and placed a Bible next to their bodies before hanging himself with a weight-machine pulley

– Investigators found anabolic steroids which can cause paranoia, depression and explosive outbursts

– Benoit was one of the stars of the WWE wrestling circuit and was known for his wholesome family-man image

– Nancy Benoit had filed for a divorce in 2003, saying the couple’s three-year marriage was irrevocably broken and alleging “cruel treatment.” She later dropped the complaint, as well as a request for a restraining order in which she charged that Benoit had threatened her and had broken furniture in their home

– Benoit’s 43-year-old wife was killed Friday in an upstairs family room, her feet and wrists were bound and there was blood under her head, indicating a possible struggle

– Benoit, 40, apparently hanged himself several hours and as long as a day later, Ballard said. His body was found in a downstairs weight room, his body found hanging from the pulley of a piece of exercise equipment

Dibert and Scott Adams on Global Warming

Comics saved from http://www.dilbert.com. Click to enlarge.

I got wind of this from the Is It Getting Warmer? blog. I do love Dilbert strips.

As always, the Dilbert creator Scott Adams avoids overtly stating support for any side in the debate. Instead, he mocks the most human aspects of it.

The third strip is especially poignant and describes Al Gore perfectly. Making others sacrifice while living in luxury is what self-proclaimed celebrity champions of combating global warming do.

You can read his actual views at the Dilbert Blog, however. He is a natural skeptic, meaning that he is skeptical of either side of any argument. Ergo, he is skeptical of the global warming proponents and skeptical of the skeptics! Links below:

Introduction

Starting points and questions

Short interlude about peer review

Computer models

Summary of what Scott Adams has learnt

Youth Abstinence Walk Malaysia 2007

My full support for this program.

The logic is simple: Would you like to find out that before marrying you, your husband/wife had sex with 37 othr people, and honestly considers some of them to be much better lovers than you are? Well then, you shouldn’t cause your future spouse that kind of grief either!

Contrary to the secular, liberal, sex-crazed world, we consider it a great and proud achievement to be a 40-year old virgin! It isn’t easy, especially in a culture ruled by meaningless sex.

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From NST 27 June 2007 (NST removes links after a  week):

It’s abstinence for 250 until marriage

By : David Yeow

The students did a walk around Millennium Park after their pledge of abstinence while holding signboards encouraging others to do the same.

PETALING JAYA: Raymas Quah sets many hearts a-flutter when he walks the corridors of his school.

But he is not your typical “big man on campus” ready to use his looks to “get” girls.

He values his virginity and is not ashamed to stand up and say so.

“Your virginity is the best wedding gift you can give to your future spouse. So for me it’s ‘no’ to sex until I say ‘I do’,” said the 19-year-old from Sekolah Kebangsaan Taman Sea.

Quah led 250 students from five secondary schools, during the Youth Abstinence Walk at Millennium Park in SS2 yesterday, in a personal pledge to abstain from any form of sexual activity until they marry.

The students first attended a four-hour abstinence workshop in their schools, developed by Focus on the Family Malaysia (FOFM). The non-governmental organisation was originally set up in the United States in 1977 to restore values to the family unit.

FOFM spokesman Olivia Lee said the main aim of the workshop was to create awareness among teenagers that sex was powerful, and if treated lightly could result in a severe emotional backlash or worse, a sexually transmitted disease.

“We live in such a supercharged ‘just do it’ world. We just want to let teenagers know that they have the option to abstain, and that it works,” Lee said.

And it seems the idea is catching on.

“Abstinence is not a conservative thing, it’s a respect thing. I learnt that love is about honouring one another. So to show that I really love my future husband, I am going to start by honouring my body,” said 16-year-old Sarah Lau from Sekolah Kebangsaan Taman Sea.

When asked of what her parents thought of the idea, Lau said that they were really proud and thought it was mature of her to take the pledge.

After making their public declaration of abstinence, the students marched around the park, some chanting “Abstinence works”, holding signs that read “Abstinence Rocks” and “Don’t be an STD statistic”, among others.

North Petaling Jaya MP Datin Chew Mei Fun led the event and joined in the walk.

Seven Gang Leaders in JB Identified

May something be done about it! Are the majority of rob-rape-murders organized crimes? I doubt it. Those are the cases that most affect ordinary folk.

Still, crime is crime, and taking down the big sharks should serve to discourage the individual barracudas.

In other news, China Press says that in the first 3 months of 2007, there were an average of 8 RAPE CASES A DAY! Horrifying… How long before someone you know is assaulted? Protect your women!

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From The Star 27 June 2007:

IGP: Seven gang leaders in JB identified

By LOURDES CHARLES and NELSON BENJAMIN

JOHOR BARU: Police have identified seven gang leaders who have been terrorising the state with the help of influential people. 

Inspector-General of Police Tan Sri Musa Hassan said police were in the process of gathering intelligence to either take action against these leaders under the preventive laws or to charge them in court. 

“Many crime heads are from the state. Not only are locals involved but Singaporeans also control certain areas,” he said, admitting that there was a lot of illegal activity in the state which needed to be cleaned up. 

Musa explained that the police would have to weed out gangsterism, clamp down on VCD pirates, loan sharks and those involved in prostitution. 

“We must take action against the leaders and not just target VCD sellers,” he said. 

Musa was in Johor on a one-day working visit to discuss the crime situation with his men and also to brief Mentri Besar Datuk Abdul Ghani Othman on police plans to curb the problem. 

Asked whether officers carrying out their duties might fear reprisal or transfers because of these influential people, Musa replied: “My men need not worry about getting transferred if they are doing a good job. Just do not victimise anyone.” 

Musa, who was satisfied with the efforts taken by the local police to tackle crime in the state, said there was no need for a special task force from Bukit Aman to be sent to Johor as had been done in Sarawak. 

“They (Johor police) have their own task force. The situation in Sarawak is different as they (the gangsters) were too much,” he said. 

“The situation in Johor is under control but can be improved.”  

On gangsterism, Musa said nobody wanted to come forward to give evidence and, as such, the police would have to use preventive laws against the suspects.  

“If the gangster comes out from detention within three months, what are we to do?” he asked. 

Musa also took local councils to task for approving entertainment licences everywhere, which made policing difficult. 

“Even in villages there are entertainment outlets,” he said, adding that fights usually broke out at pubs and clubs. 

Stray Police Bullet Injures in JB

Careless! Still, better than letting the criminal get away free to actually kill more people. He was willing to ram a cop car rather than surrender.

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From The Star 26 June 2007:

M-cyclist hit by stray bullet during chase

JOHOR BARU: A stray bullet hit a motorcyclist during a high-speed car chase between police and a suspected car thief. 

Earlier, two policemen had flagged down the suspect’s Naza Citra car at 4.45pm here. 

As they were about to inspect the vehicle, the driver sped towards Kampung Bakar Batu. During the chase with police, the vehicle rammed into three cars.  

As they were nearing Kampung Bakar Batu, the driver tried to ram into the police patrol car but the policemen fired two shots. 

Johor Baru (South) OCPD Asst Comm Shafie Ismail said one of the bullets could have hit the 50-year-old motorcyclist in the right hand. 

“Police continued the chase and were later joined by three more patrol cars,” he said. 

The chase ended at Taman Sentosa where the 29-year-old suspect left the car and ran into a building but was caught. 

ACP Shafie said police seized 35 car keys, an Allen key, a Rambo knife, and a packet believed to have been used to store syabu. 

“Initial investigations revealed that the Naza Citra was reported stolen last month in Plentong,” he said. 

ACP Shafie said the motorcyclist was receiving treatment at a private hospital.  

8-Bit Theater: Hyper-Neologisms

  

I recommend that we use the above word frequently in our everyday conversation, thus making it a permanent part of the language.

After you read the comic, select the blank area below to see my own attempts at etymology:

hateriffic = hate + terrific (literally, hate a very great amount)

meganger = mega + anger (lit. 1,000,000 times anger)

anathemalice = anathema + malice (lit. greatly dislike with the intent to harm)

ragenomic = rage + genomic (lit. extreme anger that is encoded within your very DNA)

omniloathe = omni + loathe (lit. every hate

abhorrination = abhor + abomination (lit. hated disgusting thing)

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The Very Un-Asian Chilli

Spicy sichuan, tom yam, laksa, curry, sambal belacan… Phew, Asian food sure can get hot and spicy!

We use a whole lot of chillies in our food, along with our wide assortment of tableside condiments such as cili padi, cheng lat-jiu (green chillies) and sambal.

But the ironic thing is that chillies are NOT NATIVE TO ASIA! They are Western invaders, introduced by the Colonial evil-empire masters.

Chillies were brought back from the Americas by Christopher Columbus and others after him. See Wikipedia’s article for more on that.

                          

So I’ve always wondered what us Asians used for our traditional spicy dishes before chillies. Browsing around, I’ve found that the candidates are black pepper, ginger, garlic, onions, cumin, and something called Sichuan pepper (as seen below).

                        

It’s interesting then, that many of our ‘traditional’ spicy dishes in their present form are less than 500 years old! So much for resisting globalization then… we’re centuries too late on that note.

Oh, and btw… If you happen to be experiencing the tormenting fire of chilli judgement as you read this, hop over to my post How to Stop Chili or Chilli Burning for how to achieve quick redemption and relief.

Fascism and Bestiality – Atheists Please Tell Me Why I Am Morally Wrong

Today I will play the role of an atheist who subscribes to humanism and the relative nature of morality.

(Hey, this is a realistic role-play… See After Homosexuality, Sexual Revolutionary Frank Kameny Moves on to Making Bestiality ‘Normal’ for details)

Shall we begin?

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THESE ARE MY TWO CORE BELIEFS:

1) I believe that certain nonproductive members of society – i.e. the terminally and painfully sick, unemployed and alcohol-addicted street vagrants, serial criminals, and those too old to contribute anything meaningful – should be euthanized for the greater of good of society and mankind.

Resources that they consume can find much better use in advancing civilization and the happiness of other (and more) people. The good and survival of the human species takes precedence over selfish and petty individual needs.

–

2) I believe that bestiality as a sexual choice should be given the same legal rights and social respect as heterosexual and homosexual human-human relationships.

I am a practising zoophile who regularly engages in group sex with my fully-mature rottweilers (both male and female) who willingly and often actively reciprocate the intimate eroticity.

We all enjoy it immensely, so what’s wrong with it? For some reason, most people – even the supposedly enlightened individuals at PFLAG – think my sexual choice is disgusting, morally repugnant and unnatural. To me it’s incomprehensible and inexplicable why.

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Now please tell me why my stand is MORALLY WRONG from a atheistic, humanist point of view.

Quotes from the Bible or other holy scriptures will not be accepted. Arguments that some god or another forbids it will similarly be ignored. As a atheist, I WILL NOT ACCEPT ANY RELIGION OR PHILOSOPHY BASED ARGUMENTS.

I welcome and eagerly await comments which attempt to persuade me that somehow, my beliefs and practices are fundamentally wrong from a relativistic, humanist, liberal and pluralistic point of view.

Convince me.

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Role-playing ends here. Related to my posts Communism = Atheism = Relative Morality and Morality: Of Absolutes and Relatives.

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UPDATE: The Dutch ban bestiality, and a liberal makes the case for why it shouldn’t be banned. Nuff said?